This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video Guided Meditation: Giving and Receiving Metta; Love (32) Metta Samadhi 7. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.
Guided Meditation: Giving and Receiving Metta; Dharmette: Love (31) Metta Samadhi 7 - Gil Fronsdal
The following talk was given by Gil Fronsdal at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on February 25, 2026. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.
Guided Meditation: Giving and Receiving Metta
Hello and welcome to our meditation. We are in the middle of doing a series on metta1. It's a wonderful Pali2 word that relates to friendship and is said to be a quality that is lubricating, moisturizing, or softening. I think of it as something that is set free when we are deeply settled. When we are not limiting this natural human capacity for friendliness and for good-heartedness, it's not being limited by clinging or preoccupation.
One of the miracles of this practice of meditation is the miracle of settling down, becoming quiet, and discovering natural capacities for warmheartedness, for care, for friendliness, goodwill, compassion, and joy. It's quite something.
Today the focus is on goodwill towards those for whom it's easy. Those who inspire you, those who maybe you want to emulate or be like because of their good nature, their generosity, their kindness, their compassion. What it means is people for whom something in you resonates, something in you recognizes their goodness, recognizes their kindness or generosity. That recognition can be more than just intellectual and conceptual. It touches us in some way. It moves us in some way. It resonates in some way with something inside of ourselves, maybe our own capacity for those things.
So when we talk about metta, goodwill for the easy person, we're talking about someone for whom there is already a resonance with us. There's already a feeling that something inside of us has moved or opened. It touches maybe the very place inside of ourselves that has some of the same qualities. Then we enter a kind of cycle where we feel and experience their goodness, know it, remember it, take it in, and then offer it back. We offer it also to them—"May you be happy"—building on what they have and how they inspire us.
And then getting immersed in that, letting that be the primary activity, letting everything else go for these minutes, because this is such an important thing. This is such a central, core aspect of our humanity to be able to spend a few minutes just offering, just radiating kindness and goodwill.
So assuming a meditation posture. Take a posture where you adjust your chest, your shoulders, and your neck in such a way that your heart, or your ability to feel another person, becomes available. So that it's more exposed and you're more open. For some people, it means the chest is a little more expanded—not puffed up, but certainly not collapsed. Maybe the shoulders are a little bit rolled backwards. Maybe the hands are positioned in such a way that you feel more receptive.
Gently close your eyes in such a way that the receptors inside your body come to the forefront. Feeling your body. The body is an antenna that receives signals from the environment, so we know the environment, we know others. And it is also an antenna that transmits back into the world, communicating with others in more ways than just our words.
Then gently take some deeper breaths. With the inhale, somehow touch and expand that inner sensitivity, inner receptivity, and a willingness to be present. The exhale relaxes the body and softens.
Let your breathing return to normal. With a more or less ordinary breath, breathe in receptivity. Breathe in care and goodness. Breathe out, relaxing, softening.
Bring to mind a person that inspires you or delights you for their goodness, their friendliness, warmth, care, and generosity. You don't have to personally know them, but knowing of them touches something in you. If you are with them, something about them changes you. Maybe you're more inclined to be caring or friendly. Maybe visualizing them in front of you, with a kind smile and sparkly eyes.
As you breathe in, breathe into how you're touched, how you're inspired by their goodwill, love, and compassion. Breathe into what resonates inside of you, almost as if you're taking it in. Then on the exhale, from the same place that's touched, offer your goodwill to them. Let your heart smile on them. Maybe on the exhales saying gently the word "happy," as if you're wishing them to be happy. On the next exhale, "safe." On the next exhale, "peaceful." And then, "free."
Calmly remember and feel their goodness on the inhale, as if you're receiving it and letting it touch you where there's a resonance. And then on the exhale, offer the same back, wishing them well. Remember your easy person as you breathe in. Remember the place inside that resonates, receives, and is warmed. And then on the exhale, send that warmth out back to that person.
You are absorbed in this wonderful cycle of warmth coming and warmth going. Let go of all other thoughts. Let everything else recede as you enter the cycle of warmth, the cycle of goodwill. Perhaps invite a smile into your heart. That's part of the inspiration. A smile on your lips, and a smile lighting up your mind. Continue this cycle of receiving and offering goodwill.
As we come to the end of this sitting, consider that in this world there's not only your easy person who shines forth with goodwill, care, or good qualities. There are actually many people, and many, many people who do it sometimes. Breathe in the vast amount of goodness, the vast amount of warmth and goodwill that does in fact exist in this world for these minutes. Breathe it in. Fill yourself with it. Resonate with it. And on the exhale, offer it back even more widely to all beings.
May all beings be happy.
May all beings be safe.
May all beings be peaceful.
May all beings be free.
May we remember to be kind and friendly. May we contribute to the sum total of goodness in this world. May we practice for the benefit and welfare of all beings. Thank you.
Dharmette: Love (31) Metta Samadhi 7
Hello and welcome to this continued series on love. Right now we're in the middle of a section on metta, loving-kindness, kindness, and goodwill. We are exploring the possibility of being completely given over to goodwill, absorbed and immersed in it for a short time. Keeping it short is important so that it's realistic, so that it doesn't become sentimental or a kind of ignoring of the difficulties of life. But to really spend quality time with oneself, cultivating and developing our capacity for goodwill, is a wonderful gift to ourselves and a gift to others. It helps us be more realistic actually, more balanced, and more able to see the world without the filters of fear, hostility, or greed. It's a phenomenal thing.
One of the great, amazing gifts of meditation practice—to me, and I think for many people—is not to attain anything, not to get anything in a sense, but to shed a lot. It is to settle away, to quiet down the agitations, quiet down the fears, and quiet down the desires that are always operating, maybe with every thought we have. It is to begin relaxing the body and letting go of the tensions, the holding in the heart and the body, and discovering not an attainment like something special, but rather wonderful natural capacities. We discover a natural capacity to resonate with other people. The mirror neurons we have operate cleanly and fully; they're not distracted or dirtied over. Our capacity to be touched by others, the capacity to care about others, and the capacity to be inspired by others becomes more available because there's less in the way of it.
Also, what becomes more available is our capacity to care. Human beings have a tremendous mammalian capacity for care, for nurturing, protecting, and loving. It is represented for me by a new parent or new mother, and all the hormones and different physiology that sometimes come into play that make us want to take care of this child. Without a tremendous mammalian capacity to focus, wish to, delight in, and feel the warmth of caring for a helpless baby, maybe little babies wouldn't survive. It's built into our genes to do this to some degree.
To have some practice that relaxes and settles us helps us feel and sense a natural capacity—and maybe the example I gave is not the best one for everyone, but still, a natural capacity—to not override it. We learn not to be caught in thoughts, not be caught in desires or fears so much that we can't really take in the other person or become attuned to them. When we are caught, we can't receive all the messages from the other person.
What I'm emphasizing today is this two-way street, this two-way cycle. It is our natural, deep receptivity and sensitivity to the goodness of others. For people who we naturally feel are inspiring, whose integrity is inspiring, we are just so delighted they're in the world. We feel their friendship and friendliness. It can happen even for a stranger. Maybe something is even more inspiring with a stranger who offers to do a kind thing. You ask for directions and they say, "Here, let me walk you to the end of the block so I can better point you where you have to go. I hope you're having a nice day." They're not imposing. They're friendly, they're warm, and they seem delighted that they get to know you. As soon as you get to the corner, they point, and there's nothing sticky. It's just, "Bye. I wish you well." It can be an experience where we think, "Wow, I just feel lighter. I feel like I was distracted from all my troubles by this person who just met me with such warmth."
So we can be changed. We can shift. Something can change for us. We have this ability to take in cues from other people and somehow shift our inner landscape in a positive way through people who are friendly, people who have goodwill, care, or love.
We're using that capacity because that very receptivity, that very sensitivity, is the source from which we can then offer goodwill back to the world. It becomes a cycle of receiving and giving. We receive the inspiration from this person we know—not that they're loving us directly, but we're so inspired by someone who's so loving and caring that we receive it, we're touched, we're inspired. We do that on the inhale in meditation because on the inhale we're taking in oxygen, so it's a nice feeling of filling ourselves with something. We fill ourselves with this sensitivity to someone else and then offer it back.
Don't keep it there. Don't keep it for yourself, because if you hold on to it, at some point it gets in the way of actually feeling more of it. If we give it away, if we offer it, there's a kind of freedom there. There's a giving, an opening almost. In that giving and opening, we're ready to be more sensitive to receive again on the next inhale.
So with the inhale of the air, we receive. On the exhale, we offer it out. We do it where it's easy, so we get a sense of what it's like to start getting immersed in it and to have it be a cycle. Sometimes when things are in a cycle—breathing in and breathing out, receiving and giving—it's a little bit easier to get into the rhythm of it, to settle in, and to just give yourself over to this cycle.
In meditation, this is one of the ways to develop a samādhi3 of metta, where this is the primary thing that's going on for us. We give ourselves permission to let our normal concerns drop away. We give ourselves permission not to continue the normal trains of thought that have so much authority. We offer ourselves to the idea that this is interesting, this is important. Our whole physiology, mentality, and emotionality start shifting and participating in this.
It would be just like if you were walking down the street, feeling a little bit grumpy maybe, and then there's a street performer on a little plaza doing the most amazingly funny comedy act you've ever heard in your life. You're suddenly stunned, you stop, and you're immediately pulled into the humor of it all. All of you gets absorbed in the humor. You forget the time, you forget what else you're doing. You're just absorbed in it. We have that capacity to give ourselves over to something and to allow ourselves to be so interested, so captivated in a sense by something.
Here with metta samādhi, it's a little bit like that. We're giving ourselves over to this cycle. We begin doing it with this cycle of receiving and giving because sometimes it's easier to feel our own goodwill if we let ourselves recognize where we're touched and inspired by others. We are delighted by others who have something that's good, and then we offer goodwill to them and just keep it that simple.
Sometimes the emphasis is a little bit more on our offering. Sometimes the emphasis is more on receiving. Sometimes the two are unbalanced. But we give ourselves over to this wonderful cycle as a way of really getting centered and really understanding how this feels, what it's like. Have it uninterrupted, without any hesitation, without any caveats, and just give ourselves over to it.
This sets the stage for beginning to learn how to do it towards others who are not so easy. It's not that we are required to do so, but it helps if we want to begin softening the edges of where we limit our love and limit our care. We limit it because we're afraid, or because we're a little bit hesitant: "It's complicated with that person," or "That person doesn't really deserve it," or "They're a good friend of mine, but I felt hurt yesterday when they didn't invite me to dinner." We have all kinds of reasons to hesitate. The idea is to learn how not to let that stand in the way, and to be able to learn to expand outwards.
So we start where it's easy, and I think it's really with the person who is easiest. For this day, until we meet tomorrow, I would encourage you to spend time reflecting, thinking, and maybe being with people who inspire you. Let yourself be touched by the goodness of other people and see where inside of you there's a delight, a joy, an inspiration, or a resonance with the goodness of others. You don't have to tell them you're doing this. It might actually be better to do it privately so that it doesn't get complicated with how you actually live with people and talk to them. But spend time really getting to know your own capacity to resonate with the goodness of others.
If you have some time, maybe just take two or three minutes throughout the day and do the cycle of receiving and giving goodwill. Again, no one needs to know you're doing it, but kind of get into the rhythm and begin having a little bit of ease or fluidity in this cycle.
So metta samādhi is the topic we're exploring, and we'll continue tomorrow. Thank you very much.