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Happy Hour: Living This Moment Of Your Life As If It Really Matters (Because It Does) - Nikki Mirghafori

The following talk was given by Nikki Mirghafori at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on October 05, 2023. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Happy Hour: Living This Moment Of Your Life As If It Really Matters (Because It Does)

Introduction

Hello and welcome, everyone. It is lovely to be with you and feel you. Even though we are not in the same location, there is a goodness, there's a beauty, especially at the beginning when we come together and say hello from different places on this Earth; it always warms my heart.

For today's practice, I'd like to invite you to consider this invitation: living this moment of our lives as if it really matters, because it does. What if we treat this moment not as a throwaway moment—like, "Oh yeah, this moment, and then there will be another moment"—but living this precious moment of our precious human birth as if it really mattered? Because it does.

That's not a way for us to get really tight and stressed, thinking, "Ah, this moment matters!" No, it's not an invitation to get us all tight; that's not the intention. It's an invitation to expand our heart and sense of inhabiting this moment. Yes, this is a beautiful moment. No matter what is going on in the body, the mind, and the heart, this moment matters. I am here, I'm conscious, I'm alive. I'm living this mystery, this amazing mystery called life. I'm a part of it. Due to causes and conditions, there is pain and difficulty in my life and in the world; it's messy. And yet, wow, this moment matters.

How can I live this moment, treat this moment, and really inhabit this moment with a sense of spaciousness, ease, and appreciation for its fullness? Fullness in the ways that I usually don't appreciate. I'm always trying to prepare for the next moment, or get rid of something, or planning, thinking, remembering, or busy. But this moment right here, can I honor it? Can I honor this life in this very moment?

So this is the invitation for our practice tonight. It may not happen in every moment of the guided meditation, and that is perfectly fine. But if it happens in just a moment or two of, "Yes, I can live this moment, cultivate my heart, my mind, and inhabit this moment feeling that it really matters," that is enough. I matter, this matters. Can I give myself this sense of care, love, and appreciation as if it really matters? Because it does. In ways we cannot fathom or understand, trusting that what we do matters. The way we show up in this moment matters, not just to this being who is me, but in an interconnected way to all beings.

Alright, enough of a preamble. Let's begin our meditation together.

Guided Meditation

Let us arrive. Arrive in this body, in this moment.

Relaxing the mind, relaxing the body, and the heart. Letting go of preoccupations with what has come before, or planning for the future. Just releasing into this moment, this precious, passing moment right here.

Feeling the sensations of our feet on the earth, the bottoms of the feet well-rooted and grounded. Feeling the sensations of our sit bones on the chair or the cushion. Our hands on our lap touching one another. Receiving the sensations of breathing in the abdomen.

Have an attitude of releasing the past and the future in this moment, and inhabiting this moment fully. Showing up fully in this moment with kindness towards ourselves. Embracing ourselves. Unconditionally embracing this moment.

Is it possible to embrace this moment with a full heart? Unconditionally living it, inhabiting it as if it really matters. Notice how that might shift the stance of your heart, your body, your mind. A subtle shift that actually can be huge. Fully embracing, unconditionally embracing, as if you're embracing your friend or a family member. It really matters to inhabit this moment fully, undistractedly.

If you find that the mind is resting on a thought of the past or future, maybe distracted, it is not a problem. Notice what's happening in this moment and celebrate that you're awake now. And can you inhabit this moment fully, with intentionality, bringing your whole heart to it? Your whole body, your whole heart, all of you. The whole power, beauty, and grace of you, this being who is you. Filling out the space of this moment.

As if you were a balloon that was not quite inflated, not quite inhabiting this moment of your life, can you fully inhabit it however it is? With its challenges, its beauty, grace, opportunities, and difficulties, fully open into it. Expand into it. Let your heart expand, not contract, shining and growing its way into this moment.

You may wonder, what does this even mean to inhabit this moment fully? As if this moment of life matters, really matters? As if my whole life matters? You don't have to know in your head. Explore with your heart what it means to you in this moment. Live the question, and discover for yourself.

How can there be kindness, gentleness, and wisdom? A friendly embrace of yourself in this moment, whatever is happening. Fully inhabiting with presence. If it helps, let the in-breath and out-breath be the anchor keeping you connected to your intention.

The way I show up in this moment for myself really matters. The way I show up in this moment really matters, not just to me, but to others in ways I can't fathom. So, how do I want to show up in this moment?

One last invitation for the last few minutes, if you like. What if this were the last moment of my life? How would I want to show up and feel in this moment? Have gratitude and appreciation for everything that is or has been. With fullness of intention, fullness of heart, how do I want to show up if this moment was a period to the sentence of my life?

May we live the moments of our lives well. May we love well. May we live wisely, fully, with presence and intention, and may we serve well. May all beings everywhere be happy and be free, including ourselves.

Reflections

Thank you for your practice. Before we transition to small groups, I want to invite you, if you like, to share a word or phrase in the chat. How do you feel? What's the impact?

Maybe I'll share my word or phrase. For me, I feel more full. I feel my heart is fuller, full of intention, as if I'm sitting taller. I'm inhabiting my mind and my body; they are inhabiting more space. This fullness of intention.

You can send your reflection to everyone, in which case I'll say your name, otherwise if it's just to me I'll read the word you offered. "Love" is one of the offerings. Heron says, "collected and content." Jerry says, "concentrated." Mishu: "allowing, accepting." Petra: "open." Sarah: "motivated." Aara: "calm, connected." A private chat says, "peaceful heart." Bill says, "couldn't concentrate, frustrated." It's okay. Can you accept that fully? Can you be with that fully? It's okay. "Interested, curious." Claire says, "gratitude." Erica: "hoping." Another private message: "surprised by my presence." Beautiful. Aran: "revealed much complicated thinking that is present." Not a problem. It's good to have clarity on whatever is arising. Complicated thinking, frustration, distraction—can we be with it all just as it is? Inhabit this moment fully.

I'd like to invite you all to engage with one another. What if we lived this moment of our lives? How might that shift things, whether it was present in this guided meditation or not? What would it be like? What do you imagine? How might it shift your attitude towards yourself, towards others, towards your life—this gift that is your life, your impermanent life, our limited amount of time? We're always so concerned with things that are not going well that we miss the grace of it. As Thich Nhat Hanh¹ has said, "Walking on water is not the miracle; walking on the earth is the miracle." We're all engaging in miracles every moment of being alive.

The invitation for the small groups is to explore this for your own benefit. As you speak, you're exploring. The other two people are just holding you witness. They're not going to ask you questions. Even if they didn't understand a word of what you said, they're just going to hold kind, compassionate presence, no questions asked. You're just exploring for your own benefit, asking, "What would it be like? I don't know." And then you offer a nugget, the next person offers a nugget or reflection for their own benefit, and it comes back to you. So go around a few times. It doesn't have to be a long monologue, just one nugget of exploration offered for the benefit of yourself and as a gift.

I'm going to create the breakout rooms. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other, be kind, and explore with this reflection: What if I lived this moment of my life as if it really mattered, or my whole life as if it really mattered? Because it does. Creating the rooms. Here we go.

Q&A and Group Sharing

Okay, the rooms are closed, everybody's back. We have some time for reflections, questions, or comments. What did you discover? You can raise your hand, especially if you haven't spoken recently, or you can share it in the chat, either privately or with the whole group. What did you discover from this practice? Did something shift and open up for you? I'd love to hear. It can be quite a juicy practice and also can be confusing, so everything is welcome.

Claire: I'm going to jump in because I love your topic. It's been the standard of my life for a number of years. There was a movie done maybe ten years ago called A Bug's Life, and the songwriter won an Oscar. He wrote a song for this movie called "The Time of Your Life." This has been my anthem ever since I heard it, because it would behoove us well to do this. I've had a tough life, and I've always looked at all the horrible things that have happened to me instead of looking at any of the good things that came into my life, and there were a lot of those too. So I try to stay focused on the good things coming in, and that's why I focus on gratitude.

Nikki: Beautiful. Thank you, Claire. I have to go find this song now, it's so sweet. Thank you for bringing this in.

Petra: Thank you so much for this practice. It was lovely and powerful at the same time. I was sharing in the small group how many moments in my life I live like they don't matter; they're just a transition to something else that will really matter. And then when I get there, well, that also doesn't matter as much, and there is the next thing coming up. So, a lot of delusional moments! But this practice was very grounding to go back to—every moment matters. So I really thank you for that, a lot of gratitude. I was also wondering, is there any advice to bring that more into everyday life when we really get caught up in these transitions and forget about the preciousness of each moment?

Nikki: Thank you, both for the reflection of how it resonated for you and the question about how to remember to live it more. Similar to mindfulness or being aware, it's easy to do it, but it's hard to remember. That's why we practice on the cushion, to bring this reflection in so that it becomes more of an inclination of the mind.

It would also be helpful to have some habit stacking. You stack this reflection with those times that you tend to take for granted. Maybe there are times you think, "I'm just going to go on some social media," and it's just a wait time between this and that. It feels like it doesn't matter. Make a connection to the times you go on a particular site like Facebook and remind yourself, "This is the time. This moment of my life matters. How can I really take care?" And again, maybe it is appropriate to go on social media in that moment, but be conscious of it. Connect it with those moments that usually feel as if they don't matter.

Peggy: It was kind of challenging for me. I kept going back to some part of my past which something today reminded me of, I guess. I kept trying to come back to my breath and ask, "What does this mean?" I finally came to, "Well, these thoughts are here, and what if this mattered and I was here with them?" Which helped me bring more kindness to them, which was much more helpful. The small group was really nice; I heard some commonalities that made it so nice for me to feel less alone with some thought patterns that I have.

Nikki: That's tremendous, Peggy. Thank you for your practice report. I love how your heart and mind found a way to be with what seemed to be challenging. You noticed this pattern of thinking about something, and instead of beating yourself up, you asked, "How can I be with this? This matters. What does it teach me in this moment? Can I be with this with kindness?" Even this rumination matters. It's not like I need to push it away, but how can I be with this in a way that I learn? That's beautiful. Marian also says in the chat, "What Peggy just reported is pretty much exactly what my practice was like too." That's sweet.

Fred: For whatever reason, this didn't feel very difficult to do tonight, and I'm aware that if I were to do it right now or tomorrow, it might be much harder. So whatever the series of forces that brought it to be an agreeable practice, I'm thankful for them. I recognized that it wasn't actually a big deal. I felt present in the moment; it wasn't dramatic, there wasn't any revelation, it was just being there, and that was fine. Being there is always so much better than not being there, or struggling to be there. I just really appreciated the low-key vibration of presence that I got to enjoy.

Nikki: Beautiful, thank you, Fred. Thanks for bringing that in and adding what you've added to this beautiful painting that all of you are painting together with your reflections. The practice can show up in so many different ways as we find our way. I appreciate what you shared, that it was a low-key, ordinary, extraordinary presence. That's beautiful and delicious, this sense of ordinariness. Yes, sometimes if you do it again at a different time, due to causes and conditions, it'll feel extraordinary, like, "Wow, the power of this moment." Thanks for sharing the range of experiences.

Leslie: For me, to live the moment fully would be living from my deepest intentions, perhaps to be kind or not to harm self or others. And also to be fully present for people in the moment.

Nikki: Beautiful. I love the "fully present for people" and the kindness. I appreciate that the "people" also includes you, Leslie! The kindness to yourself and being present for yourself and others. Thanks for sharing the connection of wholehearted intention with what it means to be fully present in this moment, to live according to your intentions.

Another reflection that was coming up for me while I was guiding the meditation is this sense of fullness of intention. Filling this moment up with our presence that is imbued with the fullness of our intention. It showed up in so many beautiful, different ways for so many of you.

My heart definitely feels full tonight from this practice, from sitting together, from your reflections. Let's bring in a couple of reflections from YouTube. Penny J. says, "Along the same lines, Claire, it takes too long to get love right, and then we die. So life is good, pain is good, and broken hearts get broken open." I love how the Zoom world also comes together with the YouTube world from other folks commenting and holding each other. Very sweet.

Thank you all for your practice, thank you for your fullness of intention, showing up for yourself, showing up for one another in this moment of our lives. It matters, you matter, this matters. May all beings, including ourselves, be well. May they live according to their intentions. May they all wake up, including ourselves.

Take good care, be well. I'm going to ask you all to unmute yourselves for our cacophonous goodbye. Here we go.