This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video Guided Meditation: Know & Feel Breathing; Intro to Mindfulness (4 of 25) Familiarity with Breathing. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

Guided Meditation: Feeling and Knowing Breathing; Dharmette: Introduction to Mindfulness (4 of 25) Familiarity with Breathing - Gil Fronsdal

The following talk was given by Gil Fronsdal at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on January 11, 2024. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Guided Meditation: Feeling and Knowing Breathing

Hello from Insight Meditation Center here in Redwood City, and welcome to our meditation. This week, the emphasis is on mindfulness of breathing, and the different foundational approaches or attitudes for mindfulness practice.

One of them is the wonderful idea, I think, that mindfulness of breathing works even when it "fails." Maybe the language of failure shouldn't be used, but it's an evocative way of saying that we offer our attention to breathing at the beginning, but when that doesn't work, the task of mindfulness is not necessarily to go back to the breathing, but rather to know, to recognize what is happening, to notice what has taken us away. If we notice that and see that, then we're mindful.

So even when we're not successful at staying with the breathing, the breathing is that reference point for noticing when the mind has drifted off. And the stronger the tendency to drift off in thought or be preoccupied with anything at all, the chances are something in our mind or body has some tension in it. Tension is often the fuel for preoccupation—tension, clinging, a strong sense of pressure about wanting something or not wanting something.

An important part of mindfulness is to see that and to know it. Know that's happening without participating in the pressure, in the tensing, in the desires, or the aversions. The art of it is that just in the knowing, just know it clearly or feel it clearly in such a way that's kind of like stepping back and observing, rather than being in whatever is going on—participating, fueling it, engaging in it, identifying with it, or identifying with the good cause of the desire or the aversion or the preoccupation.

In that way, don't worry about how successful you are with staying with the breath. Just do it. Just practice, focus on mindfulness of breathing just enough that it helps you to see better what is the current of preoccupation, the energy, the momentum of your mind and heart in a clearer and clearer way, and learning how to relax around what's happening.

As there's more sense of ease or relaxation with the present moment, it might be possible to remain longer with the body's experience of breathing. This idea of lingering or hanging out with the breath, cruising on the breath, floating on the experience of breathing, surfing on the waves of breathing in and breathing out.

When my son was quite young, I would put him to sleep by imagining that he was an otter floating on top of the ocean in a nice comfortable bed of kelp, and that the gentle waves would lift him up and down, and that the gentle waves were the movements of his breathing. He would just lay in bed feeling those movements of breathing in and breathing out until he fell asleep.

So you kind of just stay with the breathing. There are a number of ways that we can linger with the breath. Different people find different things useful, but one is to rest in it. The other is just to gaze upon it, like you're gazing upon waves coming up and down on the ocean shore, perhaps just watching.

Something that becomes more important as the practice of mindfulness matures is some combination. Sometimes one, sometimes the other, sometimes both. And some combination is to feel the experience of breathing, the sensations of breathing, the physicality of breathing. To really feel it. And to know those sensations: to know movement is movement, pressure is pressure, release of pressure, contraction is contraction; to know warmth is warmth, coolness is coolness; to know a smooth movement versus a choppy movement without judgment, just, "Oh, this is what it is."

The art is to do all this not so much from the control tower—not at all from the control tower in the head—but to have an intimacy or to be almost as if you're in the experience, the physical experience of breathing, feeling it, and gently, quietly, simply knowing it.

Sometimes the feeling of the breath is enough to linger and stay, to kind of rest and surf on the sensations of breathing. Sometimes it's really helpful to have some clarity: "Oh, this is movement, this is pressure, this is contraction." To know it, but to know it not forcefully, or not as a checklist that's like, "Okay, know it, and then on to the next thing." But a knowing which is kind of like to know, and then almost like the knowing opens the vista, opens the mind, opens awareness to feel and experience the breathing more fully. It's almost like each act of knowing movement, for example—there's movement, it's almost like, "Okay, now let's receive and welcome that experience of movement more fully."

Those are a lot of words to explain this. Now we will guide you with this a little bit more. So assume a meditation posture, and either lower your gaze or close your eyes.

So it's less from the control tower in the head directing what's happening. Let it be almost at the direction of the body itself, direction guided by what's comfortable and nice to do from the body's point of view.

Allow the body to take some deeper inhales and deeper exhales. With the deeper exhales, relax the body. Soften.

With the deeper exhales, maybe you can allow the thinking mind to relax and soften as well. On the exhale, allowing the center of gravity of your sense of being to settle into your torso, into your body.

The deeper inhales begin in your torso and end in your torso. How does your torso experience breathing? And then let your breathing return to normal. Take a few moments here to scan through your body and see where else you can relax in your body. Soften.

As you exhale, maybe calming the thinking mind. If there's any sense of contraction or narrowing of the thinking mind, on the exhale, let that spread out. Widen.

If there's any sense that you are your thinking, you are your concerns, on the exhale, relax and settle yourself. Let your sense of self come to a rest deeper in the torso, maybe even all the way to the belly.

And as you breathe, notice the rhythm of breathing in and breathing out. Which is clearer for you: breathing in or breathing out? The body sensations as you inhale, or the body sensations as you exhale.

And other body sensations of breathing which are pleasant. If there is, whenever they appear, feel them intimately. The pleasant sensations of breathing are an invitation for you to linger, to remain resting on the body's experience of breathing.

If there are sensations connected to breathing which are unpleasant or neutral, see if you can allow for a kind of pleasant lingering, resting in all the sensations of breathing.

An important part of mindfulness is feeling the sensations connected to breathing, not up in the control tower watching it or thinking about them, but allowing the body to feel, to sense the sensations. To sense the sensation in the place where sensing and sensations occur together.

With every exhale, relaxing and letting go of thinking that creeps in. And as you let go of thinking, let go into the sensations of the body breathing.

And as you feel your breathing, the sensations of the body breathing, let there be a very simple knowing of what those sensations are. Knowing the breathing.

And simple means allowing recognition to occur almost from within the sensations themselves, instead of straining to understand or to figure out. No strain. Content with whatever way this deeper, quieter knowing can occur, that's deeper than the usual place we think.

The knowing that arises out of silence. Pressure. Movement. Inhale. Exhale. Pause at the end of the exhale. Sensations associated with the beginning and ending of the inhale. Gently, calmly, let there be, as you feel the breathing, getting to know it better. The knowing that allows for a deeper familiarity.

And then, as we come to the end of this sitting, relax even more. Can you settle calm? Take a few moments to refamiliarize yourself with how the breathing is now, maybe noticing how it's different now than it was at the beginning of the meditation.

And then, without necessarily changing how you breathe, with your imagination, imagine you welcome others to come in close so that they can be comforted or reassured with your calm breathing.

As you breathe calmly, it's a reassuring presence for others. Nothing you need to say or do, reassuring others that it's okay for a few minutes just to be without needing to do much of anything. That others, for a few moments, are allowed to be as they are.

And then imagine how coming back to your breathing and relaxing can be beneficial for yourself and for others as you go about your day.

May it be that our capacity to relax with the breathing, check in with the breathing—may it be for the benefit of others as well. May we be reassuring for others. May we be a peaceful presence for others. May we be a friendly presence for others.

May this meditation support us to have goodwill for all beings. May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. May all beings be free.

Thank you.

Dharmette: Introduction to Mindfulness (4 of 25) Familiarity with Breathing

Welcome again to this introduction to mindfulness meditation, and this fourth talk, in this first five talks centering on mindfulness of breathing.

Breathing is a kind of unusual, maybe exceptional piece of our psychophysical existence. In a way, breathing sits at the nexus, at the crossroads of so many different parts of our life. So much of our cognitive, emotional, and physical world comes to play as we breathe. So much of what happens in the world around us and our intentions, what we want to do, or our emotions in regards to what's happening around us will affect our breathing. Breathing speeds up, it goes deeper, it goes shallower.

We breathe differently if we're trying to be physically exertive than we are if we're just very calm and relaxed, not doing much. We breathe differently if we're afraid than if we feel deeply reassured and safe. We breathe differently if we have fantasies that are frightening or filled with desire than if we imagine ourselves in situations where it's very comforting and easeful for us. So our thought world, our physical world, what happens around us affects our breathing.

As we learn to pay attention to breathing, as we become more sensitive to it and take time to get to know it, we're kind of sitting there at the crossroads of so much of what's happening in our life. We don't necessarily have to understand everything that's happening, but we can begin appreciating how the breathing shifts and changes. How certain ways of breathing maybe are more tense or more part of reactivity, and that there are other ways of breathing which are more calm and settled and soothing and settling.

Simply to know that, to experience the breathing, make time to feel it, introduces into the breath a new element. It introduces to breathing a sense of space or time, an element of giving room for breathing to relax, to soften, that is not going to happen if we do not notice the breath but stay preoccupied with our irritations, frustrations, desires, and our fears. And if we're spinning out with our thoughts, then there's no room for breathing by itself to begin relaxing.

But if we sit down quietly and are no longer doing the things that agitate or contract or affect the breathing, and then if we learn to relax the thinking mind and relax the body, the breathing starts to shift and change. The shifting, changing nature of breathing, starting to get a sense of an easeful breath and being familiar with that, is one of those reference points that are so valuable in mindfulness meditation. A reference point that helps us see better, more clearly, when the breathing is not easeful. When we're tensing up, when the breathing gets tighter, or contracted, or speeds up, or moves from the belly, relaxed and moving, to the chest being kind of where the force of breathing begins happening.

A big part of this practice of mindfulness is developing a heightened sensitivity and familiarity with all the different ways that breathing happens, all the different ways which the mind is caught in its thoughts and feelings and the heart. And as we know it, not necessarily having to fix it. Maybe in mindfulness practice, not necessarily having to fix anything, but a certain kind of allowance and making room to know it. Trust the knowing.

The knowing makes space. The knowing creates a kind of atmosphere that allows the things which are tense to relax. Any tension that we carry, any force and agitation of strong energy we're having, is in a sense working against the pull of gravity. It's working against the natural way in which muscles want to relax if they're given a chance. But we keep them tense. We keep them tense by our activity, our thinking, our fears, our emotions, our desires. And so, just to know and feel and make room for everything lets things return to a kind of equilibrium, homeostasis, a kind of peace.

One of the ingredients of this in mindfulness meditation is giving time to what's happening, to feel it, feel the sensations of it, and let there be a quiet knowing recognition: "Oh, this is what it is." Both the feeling and the recognizing are themselves peaceful or calm or settled.

If people hear the instructions to know, to recognize what's happening, some people take that to be work. They have to strain and lean into it and contract to try to do a better job. But the way of mindfulness is the opposite. There is a knowing, a recognition, but a recognition that comes from that soft, relaxed place—a recognition that is itself kind of relaxing.

It's kind of like if we're tense, but we don't even know it. We're so caught up in our concerns. And a friend comes over, gently puts their hand on our shoulder, and says so kindly, "It seems that you're tense today." And only then do you recognize that you're tense. But having someone recognize that, something goes, "Ah," and relaxes.

The opposite could happen as well. As if someone recognizes that you seem so happy today. There's something about being recognized that something kind of lightens up: "Oh yeah, I am. I wasn't really taking it in, but I am. It's true." So this gentle recognition, that kind of, "Ah yes, I'm tense. That's the case," as opposed to, "Oh no, I'm tense. What a terrible meditator I am." This simple, simple recognition.

And so, as we practice meditation with breathing, it's important to remember the first steps that I've talked about this week: that we don't have to stay with the breath, you know, stay there and hold onto it without wandering away. We just want to start seeing more clearly what's going on here as we sit to meditate, and learn how to relax—some modicum of relaxation.

But at some point, as we get more settled, then there is almost a natural tendency or a wonderful dedication to then stay. Stay surfing on the breath, lingering with the breath, hanging in there with it, and just kind of be aware of more breaths over time. That does a few things. One thing is that then the mental energy is not being channeled, all of it, into thinking and preoccupation. Less energy is available for preoccupation because now the mental energy is going into staying with the breath. And so the energy that goes into preoccupation, that creates more tension and agitation, is not creating it, and it allows the mind, the heart to settle and quiet down.

Just lingering and staying, but without force, without holding on, and without the idea that you're failing if you can't do it. It's actually important. If you use the word "fail," it's important to have that because that indicates there's something you want to recognize about the mind wandering off, the mind being agitated. It's all just something to know and recognize in a calm way. But then, as you are able to stay with the breathing, of sensing and knowing it, knowing it and sensing it, staying close and intimate to the experience, floating on the breath, rising and passing, rising and settling with each inhale and exhale, and allowing that breath to inform you.

The Three-Breath Journey

This is something that you can do throughout the day, and I'd like to offer you one practice for daily life that can be invaluable and very simple to do. It doesn't take much time, and that is to take the three-breath journey.

And that is whatever circumstance you're in, you don't have to close your eyes. People don't have to know you're doing this. But maybe close your eyes, and then just kind of give yourself over to really experience three breaths. Experience how you are, what's happening with you as you breathe. Just stay with those three breaths, and maybe count one, two, three, to really, as much as you can, give yourself over to just those three breaths and familiarize yourself with the breathing.

You might find that if you do that throughout the day in small ways—traffic lights, or standing in line, or waiting for something to happen, or sometimes even doing that before answering an email, or it might even be time to do it when someone calls and you let it ring for a while and you take your three breaths. You'll probably find that just taking that little three-breath break shifts something inside of you. It also will help highlight for you how you were, how you are, and how there can be a shift to a different way of being, and how breathing is different after three breaths.

So this mindfulness of breathing is not only something to do in meditation, but something to do in daily life as well. For those of you who maybe in meditation find it seems really hard to stay lingering or surfing on the breathing, as the forces of distraction are quite strong, it might be useful to not try to stay with breathing for a long time. But rather, in meditation too, just do a three-breath journey. And when that journey is over, when you're ready, do it again. Not any more ambitious about staying with your breath than just that.

So, I hope in the process of all this you come to have a greater appreciation of the body breathing. Breathing is not just bringing oxygen into your system; it's connected to so much of who we are. And that's why some people, some religions, really put breathing as synonymous with life.

So thank you very much. We'll have one more day on mindfulness of breathing, and then we'll go on to mindfulness of the body. Thank you.