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Renouncing judging,comparing and fixing mind - Ying Chen, 陈颖

The following talk was given by Ying Chen, 陈颖 at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on February 01, 2026. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Renouncing judging,comparing and fixing mind

I'm so delighted to be here, just being with you all here in person in IMC and folks online joining us. I brought with me a topic that is quite dear in my heart and also in my practice, quite alive. I'll give you a few words of this and then elaborate on it. This is a practice called renouncing the judging, comparing, fixing mind.

I learned this from one of my teachers, Philip Moffitt, some years ago and realized that this practice is very practical, simple, and profound. Many of you may have some resonance with it right away, and yet it has such a rich effect in our practice. Philip discovered this practice on his own in his own dharma practice and recognized how much this kind of mindset hinders one to practice. Some of you might be familiar with this, and maybe even in just the meditation that we did, it came up for you. You know, some of the inner voices that are critical of ourselves, or we constantly compare ourselves against others or against ourselves. And even in our own practice sitting on the cushion, when this is not named, we are in a constant energy of trying to fix our meditation.

So it gets very familiar in this field, but once we began to practice with this, it began to open up something. A group of us who's been practicing with this for a while were joking that this is actually a modern-day hindrance. In the classic teachings, the Buddha taught about five hindrances¹ that hinder us from the unfolding of the dharma. And I would say these are kind of modern-day hindrances that hinder us from practicing, for the practice to unfold naturally in us.

This particular practice is part of a broader practice method that Philip shared called naturally arising practice method, but I'm not going to do that today. I will be focusing on just this particular practice itself.

The Three Mind States: Judging, Comparing, and Fixing

I wanted to just talk about these three mind states first and give you some reflections on what they are. So what are these judging, comparing, fixing minds? In this practice, they are referring to a kind of mind state or the mind's tendencies that we often experience. They are a kind of compulsive force that comes out, and they often are a kind of reactivity to certain situations that we're facing or certain experiences that we're facing.

They tend to contract ourselves into some kind of fixed idea of how we are, who we are, and then we get entangled. It's not uncommon when you have a judgment about yourself or other people, then it leads to potentially trying to fix something. These three things keep on going back and forth in all kinds of loops and we get really caught up in tangles with this. They tend to lead to a lot of unnecessary suffering. Some of the words that came up to me when I was reflecting on this, for example, they lead to identification that locks ourselves in, and we think this is who we are, we can't possibly be otherwise. They lead to constriction, tightness, separation. Once when we judge people, it's very easy for us to begin to detach ourselves. Unsettledness, guilt, shame, blame, inadequacy, or inflation, sometimes even aggression and violence. This is just a set of words that's associated with this. And so you can see why it's wholesome to have a practice to address these forces in us.

The Judging Mind

Judging mind in this particular practice refers to our capacity to assess something or someone or some situation as good or bad. And it often has a kind of predetermined perception of how things are. This inner critic often has that kind of a flavor. You know, "I can't possibly do that."

I'll tell you a story that happened to me. About a decade ago, I was doing a chaplaincy training, Sati Center chaplaincy training. I was working with a whole group of advanced cancer patients at Kaiser Hospital. It was really tough. I felt the limitations of my capacity and it was a really hard time. So one day I met with my teacher, Gil Fronsdal, and I said, "I don't think I can do this." It was just that feeling came to me, "I can't do this. This is too hard." Gil looked at me and he said, "I'm just gonna add one word to what you said. You can't do it now."

It was like something just shifted in me. And I realized, yes, it's hard. It characterizes my experience for the moment but it does not mean that next day I can't do it. It just shifted the whole thing for me, as I was in such a conclusive mindset that I was just about to give it up. And here it is, something opened up.

This judging mind often has this quality of locking ourselves in a kind of identification. When it's not noticed, we can begin to see things through that filter. "Oh, you know, I'm a lousy meditator." It might be that right now you just have wild thoughts left and right, and it characterizes the moment. But when we are defining ourselves as "I'm the lousy meditator," what happens? We can begin to see all of our experiences through that filter. It's hard for us to begin to see ourselves as something different, even when you are having a good time. This begins to distort our vision and our experience.

Now, this judging mind I am not talking about our basic capacity to evaluate, to see. It's not about, you can't tell this apple is rotted. I'm not talking about that. I'm not talking about you having your own human capacity to discern something, but it is this compulsive reactivity that can happen out of misperception and then proliferation on top of it, and begin to lock ourselves in.

The Comparing Mind

Comparing mind is this assessing ourselves or a situation as better than, worse than, or even equal to. The Buddha has a teaching on this. The three things: "I am better than," "I am worse than," or "I am equal to" should be let go of. That's what the Buddha said. When we're doing this, it really limits ourselves to a wide range of possibilities.

I am very familiar with the feeling of not good enough. It almost doesn't matter what it is, we can have this sinking feeling of "I am just not good enough." I remember practicing with this and at one point I watched myself as this thought was coming. I literally felt myself shrinking. And then I noticed I actually have no basis to compare. I did not really know what other people are experiencing, and it's not like you're taking a standard test. You know, the conditions are so different. But this feeling can arise, and when that's not noticed, guess what? We shrink. We shrink into such a small, constricted space we become not available to what might be here for us.

And the other momentum that comes with comparing mind is competitiveness. Since we don't like that feeling of being really tight and small, we get really competitive. How many of us would recognize that we are competitive meditators? I know I did a lot of that. It's like a competitive sport. We sit here and get really huff and puff, and we don't realize how much it's hindering a kind of ease that may be available.

Again, this is not to say that you can't compare big apples versus small apples. This is a kind of compulsive reactivity that hinders us.

The Fixing Mind

The fixing mind is a tendency that wants to change someone or something instead of being with what may feel uncomfortable, may be difficult, even really challenging. In that experience in the chaplaincy training, it started with the judging and it wanted to leap into fixing, because the fixing is, "I really don't want to do this, I got to get out of this because it's so uncomfortable."

How many of us would resonate that in our meditation, we can unconsciously begin to fix what may be unpleasant? It might be physical pain, maybe emotional pain, heartaches or heartbreaks. We don't want to stay with it. We got to do something to get rid of it. And there's a lot of fidgeting that can happen and prevent us from really getting to know this. Our emotional pain, emotions may be giving us a message, and we can't stay with it.

Ajahn Sumedho² likes to use a phrase, we're practicing "standing under dukkha³." Standing under what seems to be painful. And it's by standing under the dukkha we begin to know the nature of our experience. When we're constantly fidgeting around and trying to fix this and get rid of that and make this better, we don't give ourselves a chance. Being with what may be unpleasant allows us to begin to discover the nature of our experience more and more.

Recognizing the Mind States

So how do we recognize these mind states? Some of this may be quite obvious. We can recognize when it pops up in our mind. "I'm a sad person." If you're present in that moment, you can recognize it's not that difficult to recognize. "Wow, that's a judgment I'm putting on myself." "I'm always going to be like this." "Oh, that's a judgment."

One of the things that begins to open up to us in terms of recognizing these mind states is we can begin to notice how they feel in our bodies. Mindfulness allows us to begin to see how it feels when the judging mind is present. For me, often there is a certain tightness that begins to come in because we're putting ourselves in a locked box, and that often has a very somatic sense that something narrows.

Comparing mind, I talked about how there is that sinking feeling. This "not enough" kind of feeling often has this... I could feel my whole body just drop and become small. It's a little bit of a collapsing. Something collapses. And the competitiveness that comes from the comparing mind, there is a kind of charge. You're like you're getting out of your skin kind of feeling, just charging ahead. So getting to know this through your own embodied experience, you can begin to recognize them right in the mindfulness practice.

Fixing mind has other kinds of felt sense, an embodied signature to it. Those who are parents will recognize this because we are the authority, we know how to do this, and we got to fix our children. So I took up this practice whenever I drive my son to school. I would be very present and noticing the little impulses that want to pop out in me to give him advice. I could feel that and then I would say, "Oh okay, I don't need to do that." The bubble gets bursted. It's so much more empowering to our own children, right? Instead of trying to fix this and fix that so that somehow their life is like how you think they should be. Now they have freedom to kind of navigate this life and become more empowered that way.

How to Practice Renunciation

Just because we call this a renunciation practice, it doesn't mean that we take a hammer and start scratching them out, banging them out. The first effect in practicing with it is we begin to recognize how they show up. Many of you are familiar with the teachings of the precepts⁴, practice, ethical conduct. Often through that practice we begin to notice how we slip into false speech. When we have the practice, we also begin to notice them more. When we don't have that practice, we kind of just roam around maybe fixing, judging, comparing in combination in our minds. But through this practice, it brought out a heightened mindful presence in my everyday life. I notice, "Oh okay, here it is, the comparing mind is present." So it's really supportive for our mindfulness practice.

And as we get to know it more, this is standing under the dukkha, under the tension of this, we can begin to know the range of this mindset. It's not just one mind state; it has all kinds of manifestations. We can begin to let the practice unfold because once we know them, there is a natural release that happens without us trying to fix that. The Buddha, in practicing with the hindrances, once he noticed the hindrances, they are let go of naturally because it's like we're holding a hot coal. We don't want to hold the hot coal. The body will just kind of let it go. In the same way here, when we notice them, when we recognize them, when we know them deeply in a wide range of ways, the practice begins to unfold.

In our meditation earlier, I invited you to notice what happens when there is an absence of judging, comparing and fixing our meditation or comparing ourselves. What happens? What begins to become available when those mind states are kind of like the clouds that fade away? We have a much greater capacity to discern more clearly what might be needed. Maybe there is a sense of kindness towards what's unpleasant, but it's not coming from a fixing or demanding for something to be different. There can be a whole range of wholesome qualities that begin to become available, or simply more spaciousness in the mind and heart that allow things to be, rather than trying to fix them all the time.

For me, there is often a somatic sense of ease in my body. I'm not trying to be somebody who I wanted to be. I am just who I am. This is what it is. So much more freedom in the heart and so much more kindness, not only for ourselves, but we give space for other people, for other situations, and they can be who they are. They don't have to be how you want them to be. And there can be a sense of a harmony in being with each other in that way.

A Renunciation Ritual

Philip developed a ritual. I won't have time to describe the details of the ritual, but I wanted to offer you a flavor. Doing it as a ritual has a different effect on us because a ritual carries something for our heart and mind. Just like when we take precepts, it's a kind of ritual. When we enter a ritual space, our relationship to our practice may be different.

In this ritual that Philip devised, it has a few different parts. It goes something like this:

First, you give yourself a duration or a situation you want to practice with. For example, on retreat, you might say, "for the duration of the retreat, I'm going to practice..." For me, I took up this practice specifically with the situation I have with my son. I said, for this next month or two months (you decide the length, but don't be grandiose), I will practice. I picked a very specific situation, which is every time I sit with my son in the car.

Second, you state the practice. So for me, it may be, "for the next three weeks, every time I'm sitting in the car with my son, I'm going to practice renouncing the fixing mind."

The last part is extremely important, which is: "as best as I'm able." Without that, you can't live up to the promise we may have for ourselves. "As best as I'm able" is like a magic touch in this practice, which is it puts us in a practice mode rather than giving ourselves some sort of ideal state that we're supposed to be. Because there are deep tendencies, it's bound to be the case that we're going to have a comparing mind or fixing mind. So whenever you notice, you let it go as best as you're able. It might be you let it go for two seconds and three seconds later you're back in the comparing mind. Okay, I'm doing it as best I'm able. Now, we're not fighting a war with ourselves, but we're sincere with the practice.

So that's the practice. If you feel called to take this up as a practice, maybe you can design a ritual for yourself. You say, "next two weeks in this specific situation," or "every Monday you're meeting someone you tend to have a lot of judgment about, every Monday for five weeks in this particular situation I'm going to practice renouncing the judging mind, as best as I'm able." You take up that ritual, and after the duration ends, you release yourself from this vow. The releasing allows us to respect this as a practice.

After a while, that might just become part of your practice. For me, when I did this practice for a period of time, I noticed how heightened my awareness was of all the other mind states, and so it becomes natural. It becomes part of the practice.

May we all practice and allow the heart and mind to have freedom from judging, comparing, and fixing for ourselves or for other people. May the goodness that flows out of the absence of this mind state benefit our own being and benefit others all around. Thank you everyone.

Q&A

Questioner 1: I have a daughter who doesn't like to do her homework. I feel the need to fix that. Can you help?

Ying Chen: It's a great question. Yes, there are ways that we can do it that are not coming from a kind of demand or pressure. Maybe your daughter needs to be listened to. Why is she not doing the homework? What might be going on with her? Might this be an opportunity for you to understand and know her a little more? And yes, not doing homework is a significant manifestation for kids who are going to school, and we don't want that to happen. But might this be an opportunity for you to know a little more about what might be going on in her life? And as you get to know more, I wonder if there are other ways that we can engage with our children that may be more supportive of them, so that doing homework is not a mandate, but it's coming from maybe a sense of love or support that you may offer to her.

Questioner 2: I love languages and I think they're very powerful. When you mentioned, "I am sad," what popped into my head is how in Spanish, most of the emotions are expressed as temporary. There are two verbs "to be" in Spanish and most of the emotions are expressed as a temporary status rather than an identity.

Ying Chen: Beautiful. Thank you for saying that because language is very powerful. That's right. I know in the Chinese language, often the emotional words are very somatic. So when you're angry, there is "air gets born in the body." That's literally how it is, like chi begins to move in the body. Now you're more connected with what's happening in the present moment rather than "you are the angry person." That's very different. Thank you.

Questioner 3: Hi, thank you for your teachings. I have a son who comes to me continuously for advice. And he says, "I have this problem. Please fix it." I notice two things. One, I do jump into the "fix it" role. The other is that I personally think he should be more independent, so I also have that type of fixing mentality, kind of trying to get him to solve his own problems. I sort of feel stuck either way.

Ying Chen: Right. It's a great question. Let this experience be something you learn a bit about how it feels to be fixing versus holding possibility. Because the fixing, like you say, often has this leaning out to charge out because we're not comfortable with not giving advice. So it comes out and you know, "Yes, I got to say this because he's asking." When you notice how it feels for you, this leaning out, might you give a little space right there? It might be that you just wait for a little bit before you give advice right away. And in that space in between, you let yourself notice what happens—what happens in you, what happens in your relationship. It doesn't mean that you're never going to give advice, but you're just giving a little more space here and see what might bubble up in that space. The reason why fixing mind is this compulsive force in us is it's writing itself out into an action, so it doesn't quite have a space around it or space in between. We can't quite really roll back once we do it. So this is learning to begin to be attuned. "Oh, this is how it feels like." When I have that bubble popping out in me, I could feel it. I'm like, "Okay, I'm just going to give a little space." It doesn't mean I'm not going to say what I am about to say, but it may have a five-second lag in between, and that might be enough.

Questioner 4: I noticed that my jumping in to fix something comes from two different situations. One is judging, "Oh, you're not capable of doing this for yourself, so I have to fix it." But the other is feeling sorry for them. Could you talk a little about that difference in where it's coming from?

Ying Chen: Yeah, there can be different underlying perceptions that we have with respect to a situation. This feeling sorry for something, we may have a perception that somehow this person or the situation has a sense of a lack, but we don't always know. Are they lacking something? It's your subjective perception of it. I remember one time noticing an elderly woman pulling a luggage. She was walking very dignified, but I felt this impulse to go help. But she was walking so dignified that my own feeling was to let this woman do this. Later I realized that for a lot of people, they feel, "this is something I can do," but if I'm prematurely going to a kind of feeling sorry, we're taking some kind of dignity away from the person. I don't know if that was the situation, but that was a moment for me to learn something about my own inner world. So notice where does that come from? Are we paying attention to what is really here? What might be needed? There can be all kinds of things, and there are times that it really comes from kindness, compassion. And let yourself know how that feels.