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Living Kindness: Buddhist Teachings for a Troubled World - Talk 2 (4 of 6) - Kevin Griffin

The following talk was given by Kevin Griffin at The Sati Center in Redwood City, CA on October 08, 2023. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Living Kindness: Buddhist Teachings for a Troubled World - Talk 2 (4 of 6)

I want to move on to another sutta¹ that illustrates another way that the Buddha talks about loving-kindness. You'll see that this fits quite well with some of the things we've already been talking about. This is in the Majjhima Nikaya², the 31st discourse—the Middle Length Discourses. These tend to be much longer than the ones in the Connected Discourses, but there's no thematic structure to this collection. In English, it's called the Shorter Discourse in Gosinga.

Some of the sutta titles tell you something about the sutta. Like there's one called the Removal of Distracting Thoughts. It's like, "Oh, okay, I know what that's about." But a lot of them have titles like this that don't tell us very much.

The Quarrel at Kosambi

The context of this discourse, which tells of the Buddha meeting with three monks, is that previously, he appears to have come from a situation where there was a dispute in the sangha³ called the quarrel at Kosambi⁴—a place in northeast India. I find this story particularly fun.

There were quite a few monks living at Kosambi. One of the things that we learn about the setting of the Buddha's teaching in his world is that as his community grew, some of the senior monks would start to lead groups of junior monks. The Buddha wasn't teaching directly all the time with particular people, because there got to be hundreds and hundreds of monks, so he would assign people roles. Different senior monks would have different kinds of specialties.

There were two groups together, one of which was led by a senior monk who was very knowledgeable about the rules and precepts, because there were 227 rules that the monks had to live by. I'm not sure about the other leader, but we'll say that he was more of an expert on meditation. The meditation master went to the outhouse to do his business. Now, as you may know, in India, the role of toilet paper is traditionally taken by water. He's in there, and there's a bucket with water in it and a scoop. The rule said that if you use the water in the bucket, you don't leave the bucket half empty. You take it out and you refill it.

This senior meditation monk did not know that rule. The person who went in afterwards realized that he had broken this rule, and went to the senior rule monk and said, "You know, this guy broke a rule." So the senior rule monk went to the meditation monk and said, "You broke a rule. You didn't refill the bucket."

Now, I know this is very esoteric in a certain way, but think of it in your own life. Think of a household agreement, like not leaving dirty dishes in the sink, and then you come in and there are dirty dishes in the sink. The monk who had broken the rule says, "I didn't realize that was a rule." So the rule monk says, "Well, then it's not a violation." Because if it is a violation, you have to make amends for it or apologize to the community, depending on the severity. Certain rules can get you demoted, or if it's a really bad breaking of a rule, they just kick you out altogether. But this is a minor rule. So he tells him it's not a violation because he didn't know, but of course, in the future, he will know.

Each of these monks has a following. Word gets to the followers of the rule monk that this happened, but they get it wrong. They go to the followers of the meditation monk and say, "Your teacher broke a rule." And they're like, "What?" So they go to their teacher and he says, "No, the rule monk told me it wasn't a violation, so it wasn't a rule." Then they go back and tell the other monks, "No, he didn't break a rule, because your teacher told him it wasn't a violation." Then the response is, "Oh no, your teacher is lying! You're accusing our teacher of lying?" Back and forth, back and forth. The quarrel begins. Somehow the senior teachers get involved, there's turmoil, and word gets to the Buddha.

The Buddha goes to visit them at Kosambi. He says, "What is going on? You know that harmony in the sangha is the most important thing. We can't be having these kinds of quarrels. You need to let it go. Drop it. Move on."

If it were us, and the Buddha came in and said to stop, we probably would. But they didn't! They did not respond positively. They were like, "Just butt out. We don't need your help. We've got this covered." The Buddha says, "Okay." There is this great phrase that shows up in many of the suttas where he says, "Now is the time for you to do as you see fit." In other words: shine on. The Buddha leaves. The next place he goes is to Gosinga, where we encounter these three monks. That's the backstory to this sutta.

The Shorter Discourse in Gosinga

"Thus have I heard, on one occasion the Blessed One was living at Nādaka in the brick house." I have no idea what that is—it's sort of odd, the Buddha living in a brick house—but anyway. "Now on that occasion the Venerable Anuruddha, the Venerable Nandiya, and the Venerable Kimbala⁵ were living at the park of the Gosinga solitary wood."

Anuruddha is a senior monk and apparently a cousin of the Buddha. The Buddha seems to have had a lot of cousins; some of them he gets along with, some not so much. Anuruddha is good. We learn in other places that he developed spiritual powers called siddhis⁶, which derive from deep concentration. So he's a pretty serious monk.

"Then when it was evening the Blessed One rose from meditation and went to the park of the Gosinga Solitary Wood. The park keeper saw the Blessed One coming in the distance and told him, 'Do not enter this park, recluse. There are three clansmen here seeking their own good. Do not disturb them.'"

Apparently, those monks are having a retreat in the woods, and there's a park keeper looking out for them. It's kind of an interesting situation. Imagine a park in Redwood City where three homeless guys went to meditate, and somebody took care of the park and kept people out so nobody would disturb them.

"Then the Venerable Anuruddha heard the park keeper speaking to the Blessed One and told him, 'Friend, park keeper, do not keep the Blessed One out. It is our teacher, the Blessed One who has come.' Then the Venerable Anuruddha went to the Venerable Nandiya and the Venerable Kimbala, who are the younger monks, and said, 'Come out, venerable sirs. Come out, our teacher, the Blessed One has come.' Then all three went to meet the Blessed One."

This is a very typical description of what happens when monks meet with the Buddha: "One took his bowl and outer robe. One prepared a seat and one set out water for washing the feet. The Blessed One sat down on the seat made ready and washed his feet. Then the venerable ones paid homage to the Buddha and sat down at one side."

These guys are mostly walking around barefoot, so whenever they come somewhere, they bring water to wash their feet. Unlike in the Bible where the disciples wash Jesus's feet, here the Buddha washes his own feet. For what it's worth, it's a slight cultural difference. But same problem: when you walk around barefoot, your feet get dirty.

Blending Like Milk and Water

Here is where the sutta starts to present actual teachings. The Buddha says, "I hope you are all keeping well, Anuruddha. I hope you are all comfortable. I hope you're not having any trouble getting alms food." In this whole dialogue, Anuruddha basically repeats everything back to the Buddha: "We are keeping well, we are comfortable, we are not having any trouble getting alms food."

It's a trivial point, but to me, it's telling that here the Buddha is visiting these monks who are in a very serious meditation practice, and the first thing he wants to know is whether they are getting fed. He's looking out for their welfare. It's not just, "Are you enlightened?" It's, "Are you guys okay? Are you getting food?" They live on alms. They are not allowed to keep food or grow food. They depend on the nearby villagers.

Then he says—and here is where we start to see the echoes of the quarrel at Kosambi—"I hope, Anuruddha, that you are all living in concord with mutual appreciation, without disputing, blending like milk and water, viewing each other with kindly eyes."

This unusual phrase, "blending like milk and water," is not common. Usually, when we talk about people not blending, it's like oil and water. But milk and water, we realize you can stir them together perfectly.

Anuruddha answers in the positive. The Buddha keeps pressing these questions, likely because he had just come from a setting where the monks were really not getting along. This then becomes a teaching on how we are supposed to get along with people.

"But Anuruddha, how do you live thus?"

"Venerable Sir, as to that, I think thus. It is a great gain for me that I am living with such companions in the holy life."

The first thing he says is that he reflects on gratitude. It's something we can all forget very easily. I have a tendency to have what's called an aversive personality, so I kind of see the negative first: People are annoying. They're bothering me. Why is that person breathing like that? Rather than: It is a great gain for me that I am able to practice here with these people who share these values.

He goes on: "I maintain bodily acts of loving-kindness toward these venerable ones both openly and privately. I maintain verbal acts of loving-kindness toward them both openly and privately. I maintain mental acts of loving-kindness toward them both openly and privately."

Loving-Kindness in Action

When I first discovered this sutta, I was planning to give a talk on loving-kindness. I went to the index in this collection and saw a subtopic: Loving-Kindness in Action. That is really what this sutta is about, and why I bring it forward in this context of living kindness. We can often characterize loving-kindness as just a meditation: sit there, send love to people, and then get on with your day like you're done. But that misses the point. It is meant to be more than just a thought.

When he says, "I maintain bodily acts of loving-kindness toward these venerable ones, both openly and privately," he's doing things for them that they know he's doing, but he's also doing things that they don't even know he's doing. There is a different karmic consequence to doing a generous act publicly versus doing it anonymously. When you do it publicly, there can be a little bit of ego that goes along with wanting praise. To do it anonymously is to let go of needing people to recognize it.

The other thing to understand is that bodily acts, verbal acts, and mental acts are the three ways we create karma⁷. We don't just create karma by doing external things. Socially, physical action is the most acknowledged, but according to Buddhist teachings, it is the mental act that is most important because that's the starting point.

In Gil Fronsdal's translation of the Dhammapada⁸, the opening verses say:

"All experience is preceded by mind, led by mind, made by mind. Speak or act with a corrupted mind, and suffering follows as the wagon wheel follows the hoof of the ox. All experience is preceded by mind, led by mind, made by mind. Speak or act with a peaceful mind, and happiness follows like a never-departing shadow."

Everything starts with the mind. There is a famous turn the Buddha does with this idea where he says that karma is intention. The intention is the impulse behind the action. What infuses the karmic results of any action is the intention behind it.

Anuruddha then says this other beautiful phrase: "I consider: why should I not set aside what I wish to do and do what these venerable ones wish to do? Then I set aside what I wish to do and do what these venerable ones wish to do. We are different in body, venerable sir, but one in mind."

A really powerful guiding principle! It's not an absolute guideline for spiritual practice, because we have to take care of ourselves as well as others. But when I first encountered this sutta, I was the father of a toddler. When I read that line, I thought: This is what a parent does. We set aside what we wish to do. I'd really like to go to the movies, but I have to take care of my child—do what this "little venerable one" wishes to do.

"We are different in body, but one in mind." This goes back to what the Buddha said to King Pasenadi and Queen Mallikā⁹: when you realize that there's no one more dear to you than yourself, and everyone else feels the exact same way about themselves, you realize we all have that same quality of wanting and needing to protect ourselves.

Sīla, Samādhi, Paññā

The other monks agree with Anuruddha. The Buddha keeps going: "Good, good, Anuruddha. I hope that you all abide diligent, ardent, and resolute."

"Surely, venerable sir, we abide diligent, ardent, and resolute."

This is a very important phrase. Bhikkhu Bodhi¹⁰ mentions that everywhere else he has seen this phrase in the Pali Canon, it refers to meditation. It's one of the key phrases in the Satipaṭṭhāna Sutta¹¹, referring to the quality of right effort in meditation. But the Buddha here seems to be applying it to how people get along living together in the forest.

But as with every other question, the Buddha requires details: "But Anuruddha, how do you abide thus?"

"Venerable sir, as to that, whichever of us returns first from the village with alms food prepares the seats, sets out the water for drinking and for washing, and puts the refuse bucket in its place. Whichever of us returns last eats any food left over, if he wishes, otherwise he throws it away where there is no greenery, or drops it into water where there is no life. He puts away the seats and the water for drinking and for washing. He puts away the refuse bucket after washing and he sweeps out the refectory."

We're getting the details about their housekeeping! Why is this preserved in a 2,500-year-old sutta? Because these trivial things can be the things that blow up in a household. You left the dirty dishes in the sink again. You didn't put the toilet seat down. Why didn't you take out the garbage? To blend like milk and water, we need to do these things. It takes loving-kindness away from lofty realms like the Brahma Vihāras¹². Fulfilling loving-kindness in deep meditative states might get you reborn in heavenly realms, but meanwhile, how are things going at home? Are you blending like milk and water?

That is Sīla—morality and behavior. It's the first part of the path. I work a lot with people in addiction recovery. What's beautiful about recovery is that we are learning to take care of ourselves and the world in very basic ways. Addicts often create a chaotic world around them. Recovery is very practical; it's learning to show up, take responsibility, and lay that foundation of Sīla. When I first started my Buddhist practice before I got sober, my life was chaos, but I had these lofty ideas about enlightenment. It was only when I got sober and took care of those foundational things that my spiritual practice blossomed. The Buddha is saying you need to start at home.

The Eightfold Path is often broken up into three sections: Sīla, Samādhi, Paññā¹³. Sīla is the behavioral aspect (taking care of the house). Samādhi is the cultivation of clarity and concentration in meditation. Paññā is the wisdom and insight that arises out of that. It's a gradual training. If you didn't understand this connection, the next thing that shows up in the sutta would seem completely bizarre. Just after this description of how they take care of their campsite, the Buddha asks: "Good, good Anuruddha. But while you abide thus diligent, ardent, and resolute, have you attained any superhuman state? A distinction in knowledge and vision worthy of the noble ones?"

After all of this, the Buddha immediately asks if they have attained enlightenment. What does that have to do with cleaning up the refuse? Because it's Sīla, Samādhi, Paññā. The rest of the sutta is all about their high attainments, but for me, it's this opening that is so moving and human. I hope we can all attain superhuman states and wisdom, but I'm pretty sure that we have to take care of this stuff first.

Q&A

Question: As you were talking about the three phases that start with Sīla, it seems as though that's how you build the momentum of karma and the causes and conditions that lead on the Eightfold Path. Is that the way you see it?

Kevin: Yes. And it's important to remember that Sīla is not just behavioral; it's also mental. What Bhikkhu Bodhi calls mental purification. The Eightfold Path is a web. It's not a chain where you start at one point and get to the end point; they're intermingled. Mindfulness needs to be there in order to have right intention, and right intention is behind behavior. There's a mental purification, a verbal purification, and a behavioral purification in Sīla. The reason we do that is because we have Right View—understanding that suffering is caused by clinging. Sīla is influenced by Right View (which is Paññā), which triggers Right Intention, and you need mindfulness for all of it. It's all intertwined.

Question (from Sarah in chat): I very much appreciate this discussion and I have really found that the quote "Move a muscle, change an attitude" works. How does this relate to the teachings where attitude seems to come first?

Kevin: When you're an addict, the first thing you need to do is stop doing what you're doing. It's hard to change your whole mind, so the first step is just stop it. In recovery, there's accepted wisdom that right action comes first, and then later you'll understand it better or change your thinking. "Move a muscle, change an attitude" is saying exactly that: get going.

The Buddhist understanding, however, is that before you can move a muscle, there has to be an intention. You can't do anything without intention. That intention is quite often not seen or acknowledged by the person doing it; we do all kinds of things unconsciously. As Gil translates it: "The mind precedes the action." Even if you don't see it, the impulse is there. The famous phrase says, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions," but I would argue that it's paved with seemingly good intentions. The true intention will always manifest in its karmic consequence.

Question: In Kosambi where the quarrel was, the Buddha leaves and takes a hike. Nothing of that quarrel actually persisted into Anuruddha's response? Was there a punchline I missed?

Kevin: Anuruddha wasn't there; this was a whole other group of people at a different place. The Buddha had gone to Gosinga from Kosambi. The resolution of the quarrel at Kosambi is actually covered in the Vinaya¹⁴, the monks' rules. Whenever I talk to monks today, they'll say, "Oh, that's in the Vinaya." I think it's pretty dense material.

Guided Meditation for Mindful Eating

Let's just take a moment and sit to do our preparation for mindful eating.

What I like to notice in preparing for mindful eating is how hungry I am. Notice if you are hungry or not. If you sense that you're hungry, see if there's a range of hunger that you feel. Breathe with your hunger.

Hunger is just another word for desire: a desire to eat, a desire for food. When we can learn to be less driven by desire, then we create less dukkha¹⁵ in our lives, less suffering. See if you can breathe and bring a calmness, a settled mind state, not one driven by craving. As you approach your meal, do so with a balanced mind.

Meals are a time when we have the opportunity to feel and express gratitude for the food which we have. We can recognize interdependence, seeing how the food we consume is cultivated for us by others. Fruits and vegetables are dependent upon the sun, the rain, the earth. We are part of a vast web of interdependence.

Finally, remember that we eat to sustain ourselves so that we can cultivate the qualities of wisdom, loving-kindness, and compassion.

Enjoy your mindful meal. Thank you.