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Giving Thanks - Jim Podolske

The following talk was given by Jim Podolske at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on October 15, 2024. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Giving Thanks

Good evening, everyone. Welcome to IMC¹. Diana² is not here this week, so she sent me an email on Saturday asking if I would give a talk tonight.

I looked at my calendar—I have a paper book that I use to keep my appointments in—and I noticed today actually had three holidays printed on it. The first one is Columbus Day, marking the day that Christopher Columbus found that the edge of the Earth wasn't somewhere out in the Atlantic Ocean, but that there were two continents on the other side of the ocean which the Europeans didn't know about. Another holiday today is Indigenous Peoples' Day, celebrating the people who were here for something like 14,000 to 25,000 years before Columbus. They spread throughout the North and South American continents, creating cities and cultures. And the third holiday today is Canadian Thanksgiving.

I thought I would talk about Canadian Thanksgiving. I was aware of it because I have several friends who are Canadian, so they have had parties and I've enjoyed that. The first recorded Canadian Thanksgiving was in 1579—well before Canada or the United States existed. It was related to the harvest festivals of France and England. This idea of giving thanks for the bounty of the harvest each year goes back a long way; I’m sure it predates the Europeans as well. This notion of giving thanks for what we receive, what we get, and what sustains us is very old.

Buddhists don't have one particular day called Thanksgiving Day. So I started to think, "What does Thanksgiving have to do with Buddhism? What's the connection?"

Inner Peace and Freedom

What came to me as I was contemplating this was that the practices the Buddha taught—the path that the Buddha pointed to—is a path of peace and freedom. Primarily, it’s a path of inner peace and inner freedom. This freedom is the freedom from greed, hatred, and delusion³. These three forces—or three habits of mind—that we are susceptible to as human beings can keep us from having a sense of peace. So it’s important to look at what sustains them and how we can work with them.

What keeps us from being peaceful is conflict. You might think of conflict as being outer—conflict with other people, groups, governments, societies, or even conflict with reality. But there is also inner conflict. We have different impulses, desires, beliefs, and habits, and they don't always align with each other.

Yesterday there was a class on the Eightfold Path⁴, which is a description of the path the Buddha taught. It occurred to me that one part of the Eightfold Path is Right Action, and within that is a willingness to be honest and truthful. If you want to address conflict, both inner and outer, it’s important to be honest—at least with yourself, but also with others regarding how you see things. Without honesty, it seems pretty unlikely that you’re going to be able to resolve any kind of conflict. Internally, you need to be honest about what’s going on inside: the thoughts, physical sensations, and emotions.

If you want to be free from greed, hatred, and delusion, this honesty is required. You need to be honest about what you are trying to get, what you hate and are trying to push away, and what you are deluded about—what you are not seeing clearly.

Acknowledging Our Support

This brings me to Thanksgiving. If I’m really honest with myself about what supports me in this life and how I got here, the notion that I’m a "self-made man" who got here strictly through my own efforts isn't the truth. The truth is that many people have supported me throughout my life.

I have to admit that as a child, thankfulness wasn't on my radar. Thankfulness was something my parents told me I had to express. I had to thank my aunt for that dress shirt that was itchy and scratchy, even though I’d much rather have had a T-shirt. I was told, "No, you need to be thankful. Thank Aunt Betty, thank Grandpa, thank Grandma." It didn't come naturally to me to feel grateful.

Mostly, I noticed what I didn't get. In the mid-1950s, my grandparents were the first people I knew to have a color television. That was a big deal back then. Every Sunday night, we’d go to their house and watch The Wonderful World of Disney followed by Bonanza in color. I really wanted to go to Disneyland; watching it on television made it look like so much fun. I would plead with my parents, "Can't we go? Can't we go?" Well, we lived several thousand miles away, so going there wasn't just a day trip; it would have been an expensive and arduous journey. But that’s what I remembered—I didn't get to go to Disneyland.

And at the end of Sunday night, when Bonanza was over, that meant going home, going to bed, and facing a whole week of school. The end of Bonanza meant the end of the weekend and going back to school, about which I was neutral at best.

The Gift of Education and Ethics

As I got older, it began to dawn on me all the ways my parents had supported me that I didn't recognize growing up. They made sure I was in school. I started at age three and finished graduate school at age 29. I received a lot of education. While the first part wasn't that interesting to me, they made sure I went and did my homework. By high school, it became more interesting.

They also took me to church. I don't go to that church anymore, but I remember two things from it. First, there was the teaching of ethics—the basic Ten Commandments, not killing, stealing, or lying. Even though I didn't like going to church (the stiff dress shirts again!), it taught me about non-harming and living a life without antisocial behavior. I clearly ignored the "no drinking" rule once I turned 18, but it gave me a solid basis in ethics.

Second, the church taught about love in a way that was different from television or movies. In media, love is often about romance and infatuation. The church taught about loving each other—that love is an important part of being a human being. So I’m thankful to my parents for my academic and spiritual education, and for providing food, clothing, shelter, and medical care. It took decades before I could really feel that gratitude.

Inspiring Teachers

I’m also thankful for my grandparents, my extended family, and the teachers I had. I’ve heard stories of strict disciplinarians who rapped knuckles with rulers, but for the most part, my teachers were kind or skillful. In high school, my science teachers got me interested in science. They didn't just talk about what was in the books; they brought their love of science and a sense of vitality and excitement.

My biology teacher loved to tell jokes and brought an enthusiasm that kept me from falling asleep in class. My chemistry teacher really inspired me to become a chemist. He was middle-aged and still working on his PhD. He wasn't sure if his committee would award it, but that didn't deter him. He loved what he was doing and shared that excitement with us. He even demonstrated a type of explosive you could set off with a feather on a long stick. He made me realize that science isn’t just about knowledge; it’s about curiosity.

In graduate school, my thesis advisor was very hands-off, which allowed me to try all sorts of things. In addition to chemistry, I learned about electronics, glass blowing, machining, and working on supercomputers. I’m thankful for the latitude and resources he afforded me. My research group was also very supportive.

While in graduate school, I got married. Although it didn't last forever, my ex-wife brought a lot into my life. Her social ecosystem—her family and friends—provided a sense of belonging and connection. I didn't realize how much I appreciated it until we split up and I was no longer part of that ecosystem.

Finding the Dharma

Finally, I’ll talk about coming to the Dharma⁵. I first came to IMC when we were still in Palo Alto. Gil⁶ gave a talk about the Four Noble Truths⁷, and it was eye-opening. I had never heard anyone talk so matter-of-factly about the importance of paying attention to suffering—to that sense of unease or dissatisfaction.

I had thought living a skillful life meant avoiding suffering at all costs—running from it or numbing yourself. But Gil pointed out that this dissatisfaction, this sense of suffering, is actually a teacher. He said, "If you want a good teacher, pay attention to your suffering." I hadn't heard that anywhere else. He taught that there is a cause for suffering, the possibility of release from it, and a path toward that release. It wasn't just existential despair; there was something to do. I felt very thankful for finding my way to IMC and to Gil in particular.

I am also thankful for the example of the Buddha, the Buddhist teachings, and the Sangha⁸. After about six months of practicing, I told Gil, "This is great stuff. I want to talk to you one-on-one once a week." He told me he was busy and could only see me once a month, but he said, "Most of what you’re going to learn, you’re going to learn from your peers. You’ll learn by talking to other people in this room."

So I started joining Kalyana Mitta groups⁹—groups of people interested in this path who share their struggles and successes. I've been in these groups since the year 2000, and I’m very thankful for them.

Gratitude as a Practice

I’ve led a very fortunate life, but it was only later, starting in middle age, that I really recognized the importance of being thankful for everything I’ve received. For me, thankfulness wasn't something I was born with. I didn't automatically acknowledge the ways people were helping me. I found that it has to be a practice—a practice of recognizing how you are being supported and benefited, and then thanking the people who are helping.

I started simply. Every time I go into a Starbucks, I make eye contact with the barista and thank them for my drink. It isn't just a transaction where I say, "I need a cafe latte." It's about acknowledging that there is something beyond just the exchange of money.

Over time, it has gotten easier, but it still takes reminding myself. I encourage you all to think about the ways you are supported by others throughout the day—whether it’s a cashier at the supermarket, a barista, or someone in a medical office. It’s a powerful practice. The hardest part is remembering to do it. Even if it feels awkward at first, it gets easier over time.

On this Canadian Thanksgiving, I encourage you all to consider your own bountiful harvest. Thank you.

Q&A

Question: Thanks for the talk, Jim. It was really inspiring to hear the different ways we can be thankful and to have this reminder. I think it’s in the line of loving-kindness practice as well. I was also interested in hearing more about the types of Sangha. You mentioned Kalyana Mitta groups; how did you come across those, and are there ways for someone new to the practice to find other groups?

Jim Podolske: There is a sign-up list for neighborhood groups over on the side, so you can check that out. I was fortunate enough to start doing residential retreats in my first or second year, where I met other people. Andrea Fella¹⁰ was one of them, and she invited me to join a group back in 2000.

The neighborhood groups are usually organized by zip code so you can meet with people locally. I'm in one group that is spread out all over the Bay Area, which is great, but it's also helpful to have a local group. I’ve also met people through volunteering here at IMC and through the IMC book group that meets on Fridays. There is also a monthly potluck—usually the last Sunday of the month—and a tea after the Sunday morning sit, which is often the second Sunday of the month. Those are all great ways to connect.

If there are no other comments, thank you all for coming, and I wish you a happy Canadian Thanksgiving.