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Guided Meditation: Kindness; Dharmette: Love (11) Practicing Metta - Gil Fronsdal

The following talk was given by Gil Fronsdal at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on January 19, 2026. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Guided Meditation: Kindness

Hello and welcome to this morning meditation at Insight Meditation Center. Believe it or not, there are the first little indications of spring here; the chaparral currant is beginning to flower in the hills.

As we begin, our focus now is turning more and more to love and goodwill. Today we will practice goodwill, choosing a relatively modest social attitude—a way we can orient ourselves towards others and the world with a basic friendliness. We want to stay close to that, to breathe with it, and to evoke it.

We find the Buddha frequently teaching the meditation on kindness, friendliness, and goodwill, noting that it is a practice that leads to a certain form of liberation. This idea of basic, simple goodwill is not a small thing. It is phenomenally beneficial compared to some of the alternatives we live by. It is much better than ill will, complaining, or annoyance. It is much better than living anxiously or living with fear. In the ancient tradition, goodwill is seen to have a tremendous influence on the world around us. It is not an inconsequential thing to cultivate our capacity for goodwill; it is a way of benefiting our world that is very different than trying to benefit it through ill will or fear.

So, I will offer you a very simple practice of goodwill today. To begin, assume a meditation posture. I begin every meditation by stating, "assume a meditation posture." It is actually quite important that whatever posture you take, you enter into it with care, mindfulness, and goodwill. It is a way of caring for yourself.

Gently close the eyes. Without trying to do anything spectacular, let your awareness gently approach the experience of your body breathing. Familiarize yourself with this life-sustaining rhythm of breathing in and breathing out—the expansion and contraction, the lifting and falling of the chest and belly. Allow that rhythm to be felt tenderly, carefully, and appreciatively.

If there is some easy way to quiet the thinking mind, slow it down and make it calmer so that your attention can be more sensitive to the body's experience of breathing. Settle in more. Gently take some deeper, fuller breaths. Tenderly notice as you exhale—maybe a longer exhale than usual—and relax your body. Soften.

With a few more comfortably full, deep breaths, relax and soften the thinking mind as you exhale. Now, letting your breathing return to normal, feel the area in the middle of your chest—the general area of the heart center or emotional center. As you breathe in, feel that area. As you exhale, soften and relax the heart center. If there is some way you are bracing yourself against life, can you ease up a little bit as you exhale?

Is there some place inside you that you associate with goodwill? The warmth of friendliness, the glow of kindness, perhaps a sweetness and willingness of goodwill? Maybe a place within associated with gentleness, tenderness, or softness? Perhaps a refuge within where there is a feeling of safety and goodness. If there is such a place, gently, as you breathe in, let the good sensations that reside there spread a little bit outward into your body. As you exhale, relax the thinking mind. There is a settling of the mind and attention into this place of goodness.

Then, as you inhale, either verbally or nonverbally, gently say to yourself a single word that evokes for you or speaks to you of goodwill, friendliness, or kindness. It could be the word "kind," "good," or "friend." Let it be like the gentle, soft weight of a butterfly. Say this word on the inhale and allow the sentiment—the glow, the radiance, the goodness of that word—to grow and spread a warmth out into your whole body and beyond. As you exhale, settle into whatever tenderness or gentleness is associated with this word: love, goodwill, kindness, friendliness.

With every inhale, repeat the word as if you are offering this sentiment out into the world, radiating from your soft center.

Maybe as you say your word, you can think of a person for whom it is easiest to have this sentiment. Having this person in mind may allow the spread of goodness associated with this word to grow and expand. A sweetness, a radiance, a warmth, a light. Letting the mind be soft and tender as it says your word. Maybe say it slowly. Perhaps have a very slight smile as you say your word.

As we come to the end of this sitting, consider for a few moments that the hundreds of us here are sitting with a practice of kindness and friendliness. If each of us brought that friendliness and kindness to just two people today—something simple and ordinary to brighten their day—think of how this radiance, this web of human connectivity, can carry basic friendliness and goodwill out into the world.

May it be that the practice we do spreads benefit and welfare. May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. May all beings be free.

Thank you.

Dharmette: Love (11) Practicing Metta

Hello and welcome to this ongoing series on love in Buddhist practice. Today, with this eleventh talk, we begin turning towards the actual practice of love—the practice of loving-kindness, or metta¹, and goodwill.

We all have a capacity for basic human friendliness, kindness, and goodwill, though it might manifest differently for each of us. For some, it is more heartfelt and emotionally based. For others, it is more cognitively or even rationally based. Some people find it coming from a deep generative intention from deep down within, perhaps deeper than emotions. Sometimes it is simple and ordinary; sometimes it seems extraordinary.

As we go into the practice of metta, please think of it as something very personal. You have to find for yourself what is right for you—your way of doing this—as opposed to trying to fit into someone else's idea or what you assume is the "right" way. This involves a deep care, respect, and attentiveness to ourselves and our lives. What is it that brings forth our basic friendly attitude?

One thing that can inspire this practice is knowing that the alternative is often worse. There may be a tendency toward aversion and ill will, fear and anxiety, or conceit. These are not beneficial things to repeat. It is so easy for human beings to ruminate on thoughts and feelings that are not healthy. They can come with a lot of strength and authority, but they are not healthy for us. We are trying to connect to something healthy. This is not meant to push away or ignore how we feel, but to be able to meet all of how we are with goodwill and a basic kindness.

Goodwill is a powerful force. It can melt hostility and difficult relationships. It can promote peace and calm in difficult situations. It is a way of being present so that others do not feel threatened. When people feel threatened or afraid, it tends to bring out their worst as they try to protect themselves or push others away. To be able to meet people with the "gift of fearlessness," where they don't have to be afraid of us, allows us to be strong and work for whatever changes are needed from a healthy relational place.

In Buddhism, we don't leave love and goodwill to chance. It is something we can foster, cultivate, and develop until it becomes part of our disposition and character. We do this through the practice of metta. This is a meditation practice that goes back all the way to the Buddha. Remarkably, the ancient texts suggest the practice of metta already existed in India even before the Buddha. It is a fundamental human capacity to meet the world with kindness, perhaps in the way a mother takes care of her only child. As a parent cares for its young, there is an instinct to nurture, care, and protect in a soft way. The Buddha was explicit about taking that capacity of a mother’s love and spreading it to the whole world—not at the expense of the child, but for the benefit of the child, so they grow up in an environment of safety and love.

There are many ways of practicing loving-kindness. For this first week, I want to focus on something simple that doesn't require much cognitive effort. Find a way to connect to a sentiment or a radiance of goodwill. For those who are more cognitively oriented, let it be a flow of thoughts of kindness that evokes a softening and a gentling. This is an alternative to fear, aversion, or feeling unsafe.

To help this happen, when we sit down to meditate, we try to appreciate where there is safety within the confines of our body. Even if we carry anxiety, we hold that safely. We orient ourselves to the fact that here and now, in this meditation, it is a safe time and place. It is safe enough for the fear to be held softly so that it too receives the goodwill: "You too are my friend; you too are being gazed upon kindly."

It can be helpful to say a single word, verbally or nonverbally. In a quiet, still place in the mind, say a word you associate with goodwill: kindness, metta, or love. Some find it helpful to say it on the inhale, others on the exhale. This morning I suggested the inhale because part of the tradition is for metta to radiate outwards. As the chest expands on the inhale, you can imagine that friendliness radiating into the space around us. Our spatial awareness comes into play as the gaze of kindness goes out. Others prefer to exhale and relax into the word, settling and spreading.

Last year, when we were practicing Satipatthana², we used the breath as a grounding focal point deep inside. In metta practice, the focal point is often the chest and heart area. The breathing becomes closely associated with the friendliness rising out of that center.

If you feel tired or find the words aren't useful, it is fine to just breathe with the feeling of friendliness or your capacity to gaze kindly on things. But be careful; using a simple one-syllable word like "good," "kind," or "love" can keep you on track. It prevents the mind from wandering off into issues and aversions. Don't say it like a mantra, but as an opening, an invitation, and a recognition: "Here there is friendliness; here there is metta." Acknowledge it, give it room, and let it spread.

We call it a "practice" because we aren't necessarily good at it initially. We practice to develop the skills, the habit, and the fluency. It is truly worth spending time with this. Keep it simple throughout your day. Perhaps find three or four times—set an alarm or use a transition—where you close your eyes for one minute and practice. Drop your word into your mind. Write it on a sticky note above your screen. Be reminded to touch into your natural capacity for kindness more often than you normally would. Let it grow in you.

We will continue tomorrow. Thank you.