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Happy Hour: Taking the Side of Peace - Nikki Mirghafori

The following talk was given by Nikki Mirghafori at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on December 05, 2023. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Happy Hour: Taking the Side of Peace

Introduction

Welcome everyone. I'm Nikki in Mountain View, California. I'm happy to welcome you to Happy Hour today. As always, we have this tradition of saying hello and warming up the space with our greetings. So, take it away—who's here? Who wants to warm up the space?

Hi Mima from Yucca Valley. Hi Padma from Belmont. Hi Deb from New England. Good evening to Dharma from Cabo, Mexico. Welcome, Ruth from Vancouver, Washington. Hi Valerie, and I thought I heard Neil in New Hampshire. Hi Sarah from Toronto. Welcome, Noel from Palo Alto. Hi Kim from British Columbia, our Canadian contingent! Hi N. in Oakland. Hi Fred, and Sandy. Hello to Fosil from Illinois, Roger from Sacramento, Hugh from San Diego, Paul from Penticton, British Columbia, and Carrie joining us on YouTube. Jesse from San Rafael, Megan from Palo Alto—lots of hellos! It's so fun that you join from Quito, Ecuador, Don, while you're there. Very sweet. And hi Doran from Montreal, Canada.

Now that I feel the space has been warmed up, I just find myself getting smilier and smilier as I hear all the hellos coming from different places in the world.

Let's transition. If you're unmuted, please mute yourself. I will change the setting so that the chats will only come to me, keeping that channel quiet because it can be distracting for me to receive chats. Thank you, Neil, for posting information about the Happy Hour Google group in the chat. If you're new to Happy Hour, we have a low-traffic mailing list where quotes, poems, and information are shared. You're welcome to join that. There is also a guide for breakout room etiquette—the way to offer ourselves and each other safety and care.

With that, I'm going to turn on recording for the sake of our Audio Dharma friends who will listen later.

Taking the Side of Peace

Hello and welcome everyone to this edition of Happy Hour. I wanted to offer a poem today for us to sit with peace, to practice peace with every breath. Wishing peace both for ourselves—our own minds, our own hearts, these minds that get entangled—and also for the world.

I received this poem last week while I was teaching a retreat at Spirit Rock¹ with Sylvia Boorstein², who's a dear friend and has been a teacher for many years. Lovely Sylvia shared this poem with me. The name of the poem is Taking Sides, and it's by Irwin Keller. The author shares on his website that he's a rabbi, teacher, writer, and hope monger. [Laughter] I initially read it as "hope manager," but I love "hope monger." May we all be hope mongers.

Taking Sides Today I am taking sides. I am taking the side of peace. Peace, which I will not abandon even when its voice is drowned out by hurt and hatred, bitterness of loss, cries of right and wrong. I am taking the side of peace whose name has barely been spoken in this winnerless war. I will hold peace in my arms and share my body's breath, lest peace be added to the body count. I will call for deescalation even when I want nothing more than to get even. I will do it in the service of peace. I will make a clearing in the overgrown thicket of cause and effect so peace can breathe for a minute and reach for the sky. I will do what I must to save the life of peace. I will breathe through tears. I will swallow pride. I will bite my tongue. I will offer love without testing for deservingness. So don't ask me to wave a flag today unless it is the flag of peace. Don't ask me to sing an anthem unless it is a song of peace. Don't ask me to take sides unless it is the side of peace.

What a beautiful, hopeful poem. I especially like the lines, "I will hold peace in my arms and share my body's breath." And that's what we'll do. We'll hold peace in our arms and share our body's breath as we practice with awareness, with mindfulness of the body, and mindfulness of the breath. One breath at a time, let's hold peace in our arms.

Guided Meditation

With that as the preamble, let's begin our formal practice of sitting together.

Sit in a posture that is comfortable for you. Ideally, your back is upright. If you're lying down, let your spine be straight. No problem.

Feeling your body and this earth. Feeling this body sitting, offering its weight to the earth. Not tight and holding tightness, but if there is tightness, offering it to the earth. Let the body be relaxed and soft, as if you were holding a little baby. A little newborn, tender, full of hope. As if you were holding peace in your arms. Cradling peace. Supporting peace for yourself, for your own sake, and for the sake of everyone, with each breath.

Sharing your body's breath with peace.

Letting the practice be very simple tonight, with a lot of silence. Just the breath. The breath ever so simply being breathed through the body. And if there are thoughts, preoccupations, or plans, releasing them for the sake of peace in this heart and mind. Releasing them for the sake of peace in your own heart, in your own mind, not disturbing the peace.

It was said years ago by a famous teacher, a famous Swami, that it's always quiet and peaceful inside—we just stir it up. So if you notice stirring up has happened, can you release into peace? Holding peace in your arms like a little newborn, sharing your breath, whatever metaphor or image works for you.

Practicing peace. Taking the side of peace with each breath.

Connecting with each in-breath and each out-breath in the body. Just here. Just now. Not past or future. And with each breath, letting there be peace. Connecting with release. Releasing into peace in your heart and your mind. If that metaphor works for you, holding peace, cradling peace like a newborn in your arms, and sharing each breath with peace, with benevolence.

Breathing in peace and breathing out peace with every breath.

In the last couple of minutes of this sit, is there any area of our hearts or minds, any area of our thinking or habit patterns, that would be helpful to bring the blessing of peace to? Breathing a couple of peaceful breaths that way. If something has come up, letting go, releasing, and trusting. No matter how we deem our practice to be, how we grade it or rate it, trusting that we are planting seeds of presence. Seeds of peace, as we keep turning our hearts and our attention towards it.

May all beings everywhere be peaceful. Wishing goodness, gladness, peace, and safety for all beings everywhere. May all beings be happy. May all beings be free.

Everyone, thanks for your practice. May we all serve as peace mongers, as hope mongers. Not fear mongers, but peace mongers and hope mongers. What a beautiful play on words the author of the poem uses. Practicing peace, being peace with each breath.

Again, not judging our practice—"I was distracted," "I was thinking." Even if there was just a couple of breaths where you connected with a sense of peace, that's enough. We're planting seeds. Just trusting the power of this practice in ways we can't quite understand.

Group Exploration

I'd like to invite us into an exploration. The question for the small groups today is a repeating question: What supports peace in your heart? What supports peace in your mind? What supports peace in your life? What supports cultivating peace?

Reflections

Welcome back. The rooms are closed, and we have a few minutes for any reflections or questions. I'm going to change the chat setting so that you can send your reflections if you like. If you send them to me privately, I won't read your name. If you send them to everyone, I will read your name and your reflections.

What did you discover in this practice? Either in the meditation as we meditated together, or in small groups as you explored what supports peace for you. We'll take a couple of reflections.

Here is a private one: "Part of me is feeling so much grief tonight, and I'm trying to allow peace and grief to be present at the same time."

Yes, exactly. Of course. Not trying to get rid of one or the other.

Another reflection: "Hearing from others what brings them peace brings me peace."

Isn't that lovely? That's really lovely.

"I feel kindness which leads to peace."

Oh, beautiful. Such beautiful reflections. Thank you all. Tara, I see your hand.

Tara: There were many words of wisdom in our group, but also lots of silence. And then I realized silence can bring peace. We know we did that teaching a few weeks ago when you asked us to practice that, and many of us were actually surprised and expressed that there's really something in this silence.

I also reflected on the teaching. This teaching brings peace for me, but you also added a sentence today—that it works in a way that I can't quite explain. I find that a very wise added piece, because sometimes I feel like I really want to know what's happening. I want to know the nitty-gritty of all this, and scientifically dissect everything and figure it out. And I can't figure it out! It's giving me fruits, but I can't quite explain it. So that was also very peaceful for me. Thank you.

Nikki: Thank you so much, Tara. Beautiful to hear your reflections and your practice. This last piece that you said—I'll pick that up. Especially about how we can't quite explain it. We just know that we start to feel different, or be different in the world, or react differently, or not be as reactive. Something starts to shift slowly, ever so slowly.

It's like the Zen story—actually, I just told this on the retreat. It's like when you walk in the fog. If it's really foggy and there's moisture in the air, you keep walking and walking, and before you know it, your clothes will become wet with the Dharma³. They will become drenched by the Dharma. You can't quite tell when it happened and how it happened, but just slowly, as you keep walking and putting one step ahead of another in these practices, it shifts. It happens, which is beautiful.

So, may we practice peace. May we be peace mongers, hope mongers.

Jerry says, "Just being here now allows me to be at peace."

Ah, that's sweet. Me too, Jerry. Being with all of you brings more peace. Community—a like-minded community that's dedicated to cultivating peace and taking the side of peace. That brings peace for me and in the world.

Thank you all. Thank you for being this beautiful community that keeps coming together and cultivating peace. May all of us be happy, peaceful, and may we spread peace in the world. Thanks everyone.