This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video Guided Meditation: Knowing How We Are; Intro to Mindfulness (3 of 25) Simplicity and How We Know. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

Guided Meditation: How We Are; Dharmette: Introduction to Mindfulness (3 of 25) Simplicity and How We Know - Gil Fronsdal

The following talk was given by Gil Fronsdal at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on January 10, 2024. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Guided Meditation: How We Are

Good day and welcome to all of you. It's a pleasure to sit here and be prepared to offer this teaching. One of the common associations with meditation, or meditation on breathing, is that we're supposed to be concentrated on the breath and stay kind of one-pointed just on the breath, and not get distracted or wander off from that. There is a place for becoming deeply composed and deeply centered on breathing, but that comes in its due time.

When we do mindfulness practice, mindfulness is first and foremost knowing, recognizing, and being aware of what's happening. With the idea that what's happening is a wide field, whatever is compelling, whatever is obvious to us, to know it in a qualitatively different way than how we usually know things. One of those ways is not to be identified with the experience, not to be defined by it, not to have it reflect back on us in some way—like what we can and can't do, or what we're good at or not good at, or successful at and not successful at. But to know it in a light way, a clear way, a full way, without being attached to what we know, identified with what we know, or resistant to what we know. There's a light touch to the knowing, but light doesn't mean removed. It means just the right way to recognize what's there without becoming activated or reactive to what's happening.

Maybe the simplest way for some of us to say that is to know without being identified with what we know, to know without bringing a lot of expectations and requirements into that knowing, just to know. So when people think that the point of meditation is to get concentrated on the breath, it's all too easy that it gets complicated, and that there's identification with "somehow or other I'm not good at it" or "I can't do it" or "I'm supposed to do it" or "look at how great I am because I can concentrate." That concentration will come later, but for now, as we settle in—and that's an important quality, we prepare ourselves, we settle in—one of the useful things to do around breathing is to become interested in it. To be interested in how to be aware in a light way. How to be aware so that being with the breath is enjoyable, without the pressure of it needing to be in any way, or needing to be concentrated, or needing to breathe any particular way.

So that's the background for what we'll do today. Assume a meditation posture that is appropriate for you. As I like to say, it is a posture which, in your way, brings into a kind of balance the possibility of being relaxed in the body, but also alert in the body. Depending on how you are on any given day, one of those two gets emphasized more. Sometimes what gets emphasized is relaxing if we're tense. Sometimes what gets emphasized is alertness if we're sleepy or dull.

And then to lower the gaze, maybe gently closing your eyes. Then with an approach that is somewhat gentle, kind, and curious, gently take a few longer breaths. Calm breaths, a little bit longer than your usual inhale, and a longer exhale. Maybe slowing the breath down just enough so it still stays comfortable. Just longer, still comfortable. As you exhale, allow your body to relax. The exhale is a kind of letting go, releasing, and let the body release with the exhale. Perhaps the inhale is more the alertness and the exhale is more of the relaxing, and a gentle rhythm between those two.

Letting your breathing return to normal. On the exhale, scan through your body to see what can be relaxed in your body. Maybe on the inhale, feeling and knowing where you might be tense or tight, but to know it lightly without identification or reactivity. Know it very matter-of-factly on the inhale, and on the exhale, soften and relax that part of your body.

Breathing normally, and as you breathe without identification with breathing or reactivity—or as little as possible, a light touch, not leaning into breathing or expecting too much with breathing—find where in your body your experience of breathing is most pleasant. Where there might be a subtle pleasure on the inhale or on the exhale. Maybe that pleasantness is a small piece of comfort in the relaxation, the release of the diaphragm, the chest, the belly as you exhale.

Maybe there's a welcoming feeling in breathing in. That pleasure of breathing might be only in one little section of the whole cycle of breath. But where in your body is the experience of breathing most comforting or pleasant to know, to be present for? It might be in the belly, in the chest movements. It might be in the sensations of the air going in and out through the nostrils. It might be the three-dimensional expansion of the whole torso as you breathe in, and the coming back and contracting as you exhale.

And if there is some pleasure or pleasantness in the breathing, the point is not to lean into that, or to hold on to it, or expect it. The point is to know it. If other parts of the breathing are unpleasant, not so comfortable, that also is okay. The art of this is not to lean into that, or react to that, or identify with that, or judge it. But with a light touch, to know it. In the cycles of breathing in and breathing out, let whatever experience of breathing there is come and let it go.

Okay, and if your mind is distracted, and that's completely okay. The function of mindfulness of breathing is to help you see more easily that you're swept away in thought, caught in thought, and know that with a light touch. We often are pulled in or lean into our thoughts. Let the knowing of thinking have a light touch and non-identification. And then begin again with your breathing. Where whatever is pleasant or comfortable with breathing is the welcoming of attention. Here, feel this. Let this be how to ground yourself, center yourself on breathing through the door of what is pleasant in breathing in the body.

If you are involved in a lot of thinking, if you're distracted, see if there's something in your mind and body that you can relax and soften. Distractability is connected to tension that we carry. And maybe on the exhale, relax and soften that tension.

And if you can, as you feel the breathing, feel the rhythm of the body breathing in and breathing out. How the sensations of your body shift and change. The experience of breathing in is different than the experience of breathing out. As you feel that rhythm, feel the moment or moments where some part of that experience of breathing is pleasant. Let that pleasantness encourage you to stay there with the breathing.

Either the experience of breathing or the idea of a pleasant experience is a reference point to know that part of the breathing which is not pleasant. Breathing might be tight or contracted or forced. If any part of the breathing feels uncomfortable, let that be a prompt to relax in your breathing. Some parts of your body can soften and relax: the diaphragm, the belly, the chest, the arms, the hands. With a light touch, without identification, feel the rhythm of breathing, what your breathing is like. Maybe with the relaxing on the exhale, letting go of thoughts as you exhale.

And then as we come to the end of this meditation, take a few moments to check in with yourself here and now at this moment. How would you know yourself? How would you be aware of yourself as you are, with a light touch, without identifying with how you are? Just knowing how you are. Your feelings, your mood, your body feeling, how you are in your mind. Knowing it lightly, knowing it easily, an easeful knowing of how you are.

Then to prepare coming out of the meditation, taking a few long, slow deep breaths so you feel your body more fully. So you feel the connection of your body against any surface your body is touching: the floor, the chair, the bed. Letting your breathing return to normal, and consider with your heart, your mind, the wider circles of people in your life. People in your neighborhood, and in your town. In the places that you frequent: work, and stores, buses, and roads. Strangers, and people you know.

To know all beings with a light touch, without leaning in or leaning back, or resisting. With a kind of ease of knowing where there's room for goodwill, well-wishing. And to consider at the end of every meditation how the meditation supports you to benefit the world that we live in. May our meditation support us to live with greater goodwill, well-wishing for the people we encounter. May we be ready to wish them well. May they be happy. May they be safe. May they be peaceful. And may they be free. Thank you.

Dharmette1: Introduction to Mindfulness (3 of 25) Simplicity and How We Know

Hello, and welcome to this third talk on meditation following these thirty-minute guided meditations that are supporting what we're doing each day. During this course of instructions in mindfulness meditation, we're slowly building and putting down the foundations of the different elements that are useful to take into account as we do mindfulness practice. It will be twenty-five talks in the end, so we will go deeper and deeper with greater, fuller applications in our life on a path to freedom, a path to greater goodwill. If all of it was compressed into a fifteen-minute talk, it would seem extremely complicated, but I'm hoping that by stretching it out over twenty-five days, it will support you to stay very simple. Simplicity is one of the hallmarks of mindfulness practice. Even though your life, your life experience, and how it's happening might be multifaceted, the idea is to find a way to stay simple and easeful as we know it, as we show up and are present for our experience.

One of the ways of appreciating this simplicity is to recognize that—maybe it's a little bit for the purposes of teaching to make this next point—there's always only two things happening: there is what is happening, and how we're aware of it, the knowing of it. What we're aware of could be many varied things, of course. But how we know it—everything is known through the lens of knowing. Everything is known through seeing, hearing, touching, thinking about, taking it in somehow. It passes through the lens of recognition, of awareness. Once we recognize or know something, then it might get complicated again with memories, thoughts, values, expectations, desires, and fears. All kinds of things might happen.

Imagine it's kind of like an hourglass where the sand goes through this narrow neck. If that neck is very narrow, every particle of sand can be seen as it goes through. If there was no narrowing of the glass, all the sand would just fall very quickly, and you wouldn't see what's going on. Maybe it's a little bit of an unfortunate metaphor, this idea of narrowing and tightening up, but the idea is that everything in our experience goes through a simple area of just being known in the most simple possible way. Beforehand, the world out there might be quite broad and multifaceted. After we know it, it gets picked up by the mind, and memory, desires, fantasies, and projections come into play. But in between, there's this wonderful doorway of simple knowing, and that's the domain of mindfulness.

Whether we know what's in the world or we know what's going on within us, the idea is to have these two areas: we know something, and how we know it is important. The "how" is a big part of what we're exploring here. We don't just know unconsciously or matter-of-factly, because if we don't pay attention to how we know, how we're aware, how we're attentive, it's all too easy to bring along our attitudes, our emotions, our desires, our agendas, our fears, and it colors the way that we know. That's okay; we don't have to be troubled by anything when we do mindfulness. That's the simplicity of it. The idea is to know that too. "Oh, that's how it is. That's how I'm knowing. When I know, I identify. I identify with the breathing, with what's happening. When I know something, I immediately measure it, judge it, or evaluate it in relationship to myself as a doer, myself as a victim, myself as a consumer, or myself trying to get something or prove myself." There are all kinds of ways we know. "Oh, that's how it is."

So when we sit down to meditate with mindfulness, the idea is to keep it very simple and not complicate it immediately with ideas of getting concentrated. Because then the knowing is already biased in a certain way; there's a leaning in, identification, and looking for the concentration. Even the idea that we're supposed to be continuously aware and not be distracted can be another little cloudiness or agitation for the knowing. The idea is to step back, relax enough, and then just be content to know what you can know. The breathing is an anchor. Breathing is always there, always in the present moment. Breathing always occurs now. So keep an eye out for the breathing, not so that you get focused on it, but as that reference point for the present.

Every time you come back to the breathing and be with it, it might help you to see more clearly how you are—that you're distracted, irritated, sad, happy, relaxed, or tense. That's part of the function of all this: to see that none of it is wrong for the purpose of meditation. In ordinary life, we come with all these attitudes about what we know. If we're happy, we feel proud or hopeful, we add those things to it. If we feel lousy, don't feel good, or tense, we feel like, "Oh, I'm a failure, I'm wrong," or embarrassed. To keep it really simple—this is why some people find mindfulness meditation to be extremely forgiving or accepting. They have breathing room to be who they are. No matter how you are, there's breathing room for it. Part of that breathing room, that spaciousness, is how we know it. "Oh, this is how it is." When you know this is how it is, now you are being mindful. The paradox is that if you're distracted and you know you're distracted, you're no longer distracted, even if the thoughts of distractions are still going. If you are caught up in some emotion and you know that you're caught up, then you're no longer quite caught up anymore.

So, notice how you are. In the guided meditation we just did, we took another step with the breathing. Not just using the breathing as a reference point for distractability, or learning where we can relax more, but also we can search for where the breathing is pleasant. It took me a long time in meditation to learn that that was fine. It was okay, it was actually supportive of meditation to find where meditation was pleasant and enjoyable, and let that be a support for staying present. Not being attached to it or prioritizing it too much, but just look: where is it? Where is breathing pleasant? It might be just a moment at the end of the out-breath, or part of the end of the out-breath is letting go and relaxing. For some people, that's not pleasant. It might be the beginning of the in-breath, or the smooth feeling of expansion with the in-breath. It might be somehow the sensations of the air going in and out through the nostrils—it's got a nice tingling and sharpness to it. There might be a softness in the belly at some point as the belly relaxes with the breath.

It might be possible to slightly adjust this rhythm, the speed, the depth of breathing. Make it a little more shallow, a little deeper, longer, or a little shorter, so that it's still normal in a sense, but so that it's a little bit more pleasant how you're breathing. The value of touching into the pleasantness of breathing, again, is not to feel more pleasure, but rather that also is a reference point to see better where the tensions are, where the challenges are, where the discomforts are. So that you might be able to relax further, soften the body, soften the mind, so you might be able to know it with this simplicity of knowing. "Oh, I'm feeling sad, look at that." But the knowing of sadness is not sad. "Look at that, I'm irritated, I'm afraid, I'm agitated." But the knowing of those things is not defined by the sadness, the irritation, the agitation. It's just knowing.

I believe that this is a lot of words that I've said, a lot of ideas, and so it can lend itself to becoming complicated, trying to remember what I said. But I'm hoping that you will somehow take it in with this message: keep it simple. Let the breathing support you to be very simple, to recognize how you are, what's happening with you. Because that is the compost, that's the material, the basis for greater clarity of awareness—is actually how you are. Not to bypass how you are, but to recognize how you are, and how you know is really one of the central things we're doing here. It's half the picture: there's what you know, and how you know it.

As you go about your day today, you might see if, as you go through different activities, whatever you're doing, check in with yourself periodically, quickly, and ask yourself: "How is it I know my environment? How is it I'm taking it in? How am I relating to it? How is it being known?" Is it being known through the filter of emotions and agendas and beliefs? Is it being known simply? What would it mean to know simply right now, without all the baggage I carry with me, just to know? That would be a wonderful exercise. I would love to hear from all of you actually what you learn from that. I know that's not possible, so thank you very much for today, and I look forward to continuing tomorrow.