This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video Guided Med: Meditate like Space; Savoring the Flavors of Refuge (4/5) Live as One’s Own Refuge. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

Guided Meditation: Meditate like Space; Dharmette: Savoring the Flavors of Refuge (4 of 5) Live as One’s Own Refuge - Ying Chen, 陈颖

The following talk was given by Ying Chen, 陈颖 at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on August 29, 2024. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Guided Meditation: Meditate like Space

Good morning, good day. Here we are again on our week of meditating with the Inner Mountain. We've been going through this metaphor in various ways. Yesterday, we did expand this sitting with the mountain in a way that expresses the whole ecosystem within, like the mountain ranges. It's a whole ecosystem with its trees, the forests, earth, rocks, and streams. Today, we are going to expand even further to include space. The mountains don't exist separate from the space that's all around and that's within. And so it is for this body, this mind and heart. There is a space within and there's a space all around. So, meditating like a space, including the whole ecosystem of the mountain within. With that, let's meditate.

Allow the words to settle. Arriving, arriving at the temple of this body, mind, and heart. Coming here and now with a gentleness and a care, without demanding for things to be otherwise. Arriving with a few long, deep breaths if you like. Arriving with a sound and a silence if you like. Arriving with the global sense of the body sitting, lying down. Whatever the measure of disease or pain, it is included. Arriving with it, not dismissing anything.

Sensing the lower half of the body if you're sitting upright—the pelvic floor, feet, legs—settling downwards towards Earth underneath. If you're lying down, you're sensing the whole body resting down like the mountains, rooting in the earth underneath. Stable, steady. Our mind can become steady with the feeling of sitting like a mountain.

Sitting like an alive mountain. The trees breathe, the streams in the mountain flow, the creatures are alive in the mountains. Feeling, sensing, including the movements, the aliveness, in addition to the stability and stillness. Including the waves of emotions if they're present, moods like the weather systems in the mountain. Feeling and sensing without having to comment on your experience.

Noticing space, or a felt sense of a spaciousness that's within this body and all around. A vast space. The mountains are not separate. Here too, in this body, we can feel and sense the spaciousness that holds everything. Softening and relaxing into the spaciousness. The space doesn't have conflicts with our emotions or thoughts; it offers vast room for things to float through.

Knowing spaciousness, and the spacious knowing holds all aspects or all parts of ourselves. The whole of ourselves, our health. Give yourself permission to soften and ease into this spacious holding.

As the sound of the bell rings, notice what has shifted within yourself. Maybe the breath has changed, or sensations in the body, heart, and mind.

Dharmette: Savoring the Flavors of Refuge (4 of 5) Live as One’s Own Refuge

Today, I brought a reflection based on a sutta in the Dīgha Nikāya¹. There is this sutta called the Parinibbāna Sutta², and the sutta documented the last days of the Buddha in his life. There was a very touching exchange between the Buddha and his personal attendant for a few decades, Ānanda³. The Buddha was in his last days of his life, and Ānanda was stressed out. The Buddha said to him, "So Ānanda, live as your own island, your own refuge, with no other refuge. Let the teaching be your island and your refuge with no other refuge."

How does a practitioner do this? It's when the practitioner meditates by observing the aspect of the body, keen, aware, and mindful, rid of covetousness and displeasure for the world. And that goes with the feelings, mind states, and the dhammas. Many of you would know this is the teachings of the Satipaṭṭhāna⁴. And so this is how a practitioner is their own island, their own refuge with no other refuge. This is how the teaching is their island, their refuge, and with no other refuge.

Today I'd like to speak a little bit about this aspect of refuge that the Buddha called "live as your own refuge," refuge in oneself. In the past few days, I shared some reflections about the refuge in the triple gem: the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. I pointed out that each of these refuges has an external dimension, a kind of protection or shelter we go to, and there's also an internal dimension. As we practice aligned with them, they come alive in us. Towards the end of the Buddha’s life, he's pointing back to one's own role in the practice. Note that the Buddha said, "live as your own refuge" and "let the teachings be your refuge" back to back. To me, these two are not separate; they are connected. Refuge in oneself and refuge in Dharma are like two sides of the coin in some way, and they each highlight some important aspect of the practice. I wanted to tease this apart a bit today.

First, this aspect of living as our own refuge highlights our role in the practice. It's helpful to remember that the Dharma was taught by the Buddha, but we have to practice it. We have to do it, and no one can do it for us. In the Dhammapada⁵, there is this verse, it says, "It's up to you to make a diligent effort. Tathāgatas⁶ simply tell you how." It's interesting to feel into this. It may seem quite obvious that we have to practice it, but in reality, it's not always easy to do so. Often we don't always trust our own capacity to practice with what's difficult, practice with what's hard. We have a lot of "if only" kind of conditions. "If the weather is bad, then it's really hard," "it's too hot," "it's too cold," or "our neighbors are having a party, it's too loud." You can think of a million reasons that we feel we're not up to the practice. I know that feeling myself at times. Sometimes it can feel like we're just going to wait for some magical situation to come in. That doesn't really sound like a refuge, does it?

I remember when my son was just born, that was a time that I was really keen on going on retreats, and clearly, I couldn't go to a retreat. So I had the thought, "Wow, well that means that I can't practice." Sounds pretty straightforward. Unfortunately, I didn't quite believe that thought, and I was very fortunate that I came across a book about Dipa Ma⁷, who was an amazing householder practitioner. She instructed all kinds of lay householders to practice in the midst of things happening: nursing babies, cooking, washing, and working, all kinds of things. It was exactly what I needed. That was so opening for me, and all of a sudden, a whole new paradigm of a way of practicing began to open up to me.

This also leads to the second aspect of "live as our own refuge," refuge in ourselves. I liked that the Buddha used the verb in this phrase, "live as your own refuge." There is another sutta that also says, "make an island of yourself" or "make yourself a refuge." Somehow these verbs, "live" or "make," signify that this is an active process that we're engaging in. It's not that somehow automatically we're our refuge, but this heart and mind can be trained. We often look for external conditions as a resort because we don't quite feel safe within ourselves, and the different parts may fight against each other. In our meditation, I invited this possibility to make space for all parts of ourselves so they can exist together. Whether it's the part that feels pain and wants to be relieved of pain, or whether it's the part that feels depressed or frustrated, they are there for a reason or with reasons that we may not even know. The fact that they exist asks for our permission to allow them to be there.

So, the process of making ourselves a refuge is to cultivate a way to allow all these parts to be, to have a room, to have a space. They are not to be denied. They shouldn't be here... no, they are here. Welcome them in. This process of living as our own refuge, making ourselves a refuge, is for us to begin to learn and cultivate this kind of inner space, inner safety, inner well-being, and inner ease, where the whole of ourselves can belong. That takes cultivation, little by little, with humility and with dignity. It's not easy. I'm not saying this is easy, but the invitation is to not too quickly and easily resort to the tendency of saying, "Oh no, this is too hard," but staying with the hardships, staying with that which may be difficult.

It reminds me of another sutta where the Buddha pointed out that noble disciples... there was a dialogue between a deity with the Buddha, and the deity was complaining that the practice path is hard. The path is rough and hard to travel. The Buddha says the noble disciples walk the path even if it's hard and difficult. They do it even when it's hard. So this process of making and living the practice is what the Buddha is pointing out. Making yourself a refuge and let the Dharma be the refuge through sincere practice, including everything. That's the invitation for your contemplation and for your savoring of how ourselves might be a refuge.

Thank you, thank you everyone, and I'll see you tomorrow.