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Guided Meditation: Being Happy; Know for Yourself (5 of 5) Happiness

The following talk was given by Gil Fronsdal at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on October 10, 2025. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Introduction

So hello and welcome. Here we are in the fifth meditation connected to the teachings on the Kalama Sutta¹, which are phenomenal ethical teachings of the Buddha, though they're not called ethical by him. They're called "how to know for yourself what to do and what not to do." And so it has a much bigger, wider meaning than the English word ethics. It's about our whole life.

The final criteria has to do with happiness and the stepping away from the activities that bring about the opposite of happiness, which is usually called in English, Buddhist English, is called suffering. Some people translate the word as stress.

So to sit with a happy orientation towards happiness... it's not easy to be happy sometimes, but it is possible to be happy. And it's possible to start appreciating that happiness. The path to happiness begins not by everything in the world being perfect, not by somehow a magic pill or a magic wand that somehow gives us a state of happiness. It begins by how we act, how we act in our mind, in our hearts. And that we learn slowly, perhaps, very little steps, maybe baby steps.

The next moment, to engage it, to do an act of knowing, of awareness, of showing up, of being present. The very way of doing it, we appreciate the very way we do it, is done in a calm, nice, maybe even a way that brings us some deep satisfaction or joy or happiness. It's an amazing, amazing capacity that human beings have to be aware, to be conscious. And all too often we fill awareness, fill consciousness, fill thoughts with preoccupations, judgments, concerns, reactions, that we don't really appreciate the miracle of being aware, the miracle of mindfulness.

And it is something that we contribute to. It's not like we sit and wait to be aware, exactly, but there's a way in which we participate. We step into awareness. We engage with the present moment. We say, "Yes, I'll be here in this amazing miracle, this amazing phenomena," that we appreciate independent of the crowded concerns we fill our consciousness with, fill our thoughts and awareness with. To step away, step back from those concerns, to appreciate the very act of being present and contributing to the next moment of presence, next moment of awareness with what could maybe be called a "yes," a kind of gentle enthusiasm for being present now, being aware now, where being aware is more important than what you're aware of.

Guided Meditation: Being Happy (link)

So to assume a meditation posture and gently close your eyes.

And if you're a longtime meditator, meaning you've meditated for a few years now, perhaps the meditation posture is familiar to you. Assuming the meditation posture, closing your eyes, and feeling it is a homecoming. Maybe it's a good place. Maybe there's some happiness in putting aside the concerns of the day, of life, to be here present for your immediate experience. The simplicity of now, in this body, at this time, where there's nothing that you have to do at this moment. Things can wait.

Taking some gentle, appreciative breaths. Taking some fuller breaths to appreciate more fully the amazing process of breathing and being in a body, and in a way that is good for you, maybe even enjoyable. As you exhale, soften your body.

And letting your breathing return to normal.

And with the support of breathing, with the sensations that come alive with each in-breath and out-breath, be aware of the present moment. Be aware of breathing with a very simple yes, a very simple appreciation of this ability to be aware. Putting aside trying to do something with meditation, so you have more space in the mind to appreciate how each moment, the next moment, you can step into it with a yes to being aware, simply, relaxedly.

Maybe how fortunate it is to be able to choose awareness, choose to be aware.

Perhaps you can appreciate stepping into this moment fully in the miracle of being aware by letting there be a slight smile on your lips, just enough maybe to bring you a little bit of delight. And that delight informs how you're aware. The next chance you wake up.

In meditation, you are allowed to be happy. And maybe there's something about here and now, maybe the simplicity of being mindful and present. There's something about being alive that provides you with some joy or happiness. Or maybe there's more well-being than you avail yourself of.

As we continue, avail yourself of the well-being or happiness that seems natural enough to occur if you're really present for it here, for no reason except for being alive and breathing and being mindful.

And as we come to the end of this sitting, to notice, are there any ways that you're calmer than when you started, more settled? Any ways in which you feel more comfortable in your body, mind, and heart?

And is there anything about how you are now that could support you to feel happy? Happy at least that you're like this now. Happy for what you've seen and learned. Happy for your state. Happy to have a practice of mindfulness meditation. Happy to have a practice you can bring with you into your life.

Are there simple, ordinary ways that you can feel happy now, as you breathe, as you feel yourself more fully in this body, as you sense the space around your body out into the world, and radiating from your body into the world? Imagining you can share happiness, well-being, and well-wishing with all beings. And if it can help you feel happy for your own good capacity for goodwill, offer well-wishing.

May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. May all beings be free.

And on this day as you go forth into the world, may it be that your ability to be present and attentive, awake to the world, may it be that it makes room for all of us to experience more simple happiness. And may we share our simple happiness with others.

Thank you.

Dharmette: Know for Yourself (5 of 5) Happiness (link)

So, hello and welcome to this final and fifth talk on the Kalama Sutta, the Buddha's teachings to the Kalama people, where he offered an alternative to searching for spiritual truths in abstractions or relying on other people or other books to tell us what the truth is. For the Buddha, the truth that he was most interested in was practical, was immediate, was what we can experience for ourselves and know for ourselves experientially.

For that purpose, he offered five experiential criteria. He offered: can you know for yourself whether what you're doing is wholesome or unwholesome? Is what you're doing faulty or not faulty, somehow off or not off? Is what you're doing something that you're proud of, or does it match your degree of self-respect? That's known through the eyes of the people you most respect; if they knew what you're doing, would they appreciate that or would they not? And then, is it bringing about harm? Is it harming someone, yourself or others, or is it bringing greater welfare and well-being?

And the final criteria is, does it involve suffering, or does it involve happiness? Does it bring suffering, or does it create more suffering? Does it bring happiness? This is one of the primary characteristics and experiential values of Buddhism: the capacity to experience a profound sense of well-being, of happiness, and to be free of the opposite. To be free of a certain kind of emotional pain that arises because we're attached, because we're clinging, grasping, because we're holding on to something, that things have to be this way or no other way.

Sometimes what we cling to is the truth. "This is true. This is a truth." And maybe it's true, but the grasping to it, the attachment to it, is suffering, is stressful. It is possible, if something is true, to hold it not in a tight fist, but hold it with an open hand and let it rest in that open hand. So it's not a weapon, and it's not something that we close down around, but it's offered to the world, to ourselves, kind of lightly and freely. We don't have to desperately cling to what is true.

The truth that the Buddha was focusing on in this Kalama Sutta was the truth of what we can know for ourselves in direct experience. And we can know for ourselves when we're suffering, when we're clinging and holding tight. And we can know for ourselves what it's like not to cling, not to grasp, to open up, and to breathe freely. The hand is kind of happy if it's open and relaxed and kind of at ease.

The word sukha², which I'm translating here as happiness, in some contexts is translated as ease. And dukkha³, translated as suffering, in some contexts is called dis-ease, kind of a psychological, spiritual disease. And the alternative of that is a spiritual or psychological ease, a peace that we have as we go through our lives.

The whole point of the Buddha's teaching is to bring suffering to an end. Oddly enough, he doesn't say the goal of Buddhism is to be happy, though someone who has brought suffering to an end is described as a happy one. But that's not the goal in a sense, because that makes it a thing. It makes it too easy to have some idea of what it's supposed to look like. But what it's supposed to look like is the absence of suffering and the relief, the ease, the well-being that comes from that. And then we allow it to be what it is. We don't need to have any criteria for what this deep sense of ease, well-being, or happiness is. Maybe in different contexts and situations, it's very different what that feels like. Our life is varied and life is challenging, and so the forms and shape this ease and happiness takes varies from situation to situation.

But if we have a tight idea of what happiness is and is supposed to be like, then we might actually be limiting ourselves from the full range. So, to be able to notice, "Am I suffering or am I happy?" This is a very honest self-assessment. What some people find very inspiring is that this is a practice where we honestly show up and recognize, "I'm not happy. I'm suffering. I'm stressed right now." And that's taking a seat, sitting down or standing, and really taking some moments to say, "Yes, this is what is happening." Not to collapse under the weight of it, not to have self-pity around it or be caught in it or believe in it necessarily, but this noble thing of stepping up and saying, "Yes, look at this," and kind of be grounded and centered and calm and in a wholesome way, in a beneficial way, in a way that the wise people in your life would appreciate how honest you are, how present you are. "This is what's happening. I'm suffering."

Someone might say, "Wow, that person is suffering, but they didn't seem to mind so much. They seem to be able to take a stand and be fully there in the midst of that, rather than living under the weight of it." So, how are you showing up for suffering? This idea of the criteria, "Are you happy or suffering?" is not so that we drown in our suffering, but so we can wake up to it. We can be honest about it and clear. And in that clarity, in that showing up, in that stepping into the fact, "Oh, look at me, I'm suffering," almost as if you're opening your arms, "Yes, this is what's happening," simultaneously you're beginning to make space, room for happiness, for well-being, and for ease.

One of the real key aspects of mindfulness practice is to be so mindful, so fully present, that when you're suffering, you are not the sufferer. Rather, you have a clear sense: "This is a mind with suffering. This is a heart with suffering. This is what it's like to be alive with suffering," with the implication there's so much more here than the particular suffering we have. The very fact that you can be mindful of it means that part of you is not suffering—the part that's clearly mindful and present. There's always going to be parts of you which are not suffering. If we don't identify or get too preoccupied or caught in what's difficult psychologically, then it can seem like, "This is who I am." But there's no need to define ourselves or to see, "This is who I am."

This is the magic of mindfulness: with strong mindfulness, you will always recognize that whatever you're feeling in the moment in terms of suffering does not define you. But you're honest about it. This is being alive with suffering, accompanied by suffering, having pieces of suffering. At the same time, you're always bigger than your suffering. There's always more. And this idea of being mindful is kind of stepping into the fullness of who we are. "Yes, there is suffering here. Look at this."

And in that movement, there's ease, there's space, and there might even be a delight, there might even be a smile. It's possible to smile while recognizing that you're suffering, recognizing the mind's peculiar foibles, the difficulties that the poor mind has.

So it's possible to know for yourself a path to freedom, a path to happiness, a path to the wholesome, a path to what's beneficial. It's possible to find it moment by moment and to be your own teacher. That way makes a world of difference. Part of the purpose of mindfulness is to more and more become your own teacher, so you find your way to freedom, to happiness. You know how the practice does it. The practice becomes your own. It doesn't become someone else's practice. If the Buddha came along and said, "You know, I changed my mind, you can stop being mindful, stop being aware," you would just say, "Well, maybe that's right for you, but I know for myself that this practice of showing up with mindfulness really makes a difference. It's much better than the alternative."

So, thank you. And I hope that this Kalama Sutta teaching has been meaningful for you. It's certainly one of the, I think, very powerful teachings that come down to us from this ancient tradition.

Thank you.