This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video Guided Meditation: Clarity; Eight Worldly Winds (3 of 5) Praise and Blame. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

Guided Meditation: Clarity; Dharmette: Eight Worldy Winds (3 of 5) Praise and Blame - Gil Fronsdal

The following talk was given by Gil Fronsdal at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on August 07, 2024. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Guided Meditation: Clarity

Hello everyone and welcome. This week, during the morning meditation, I'm introducing antidotes to the way minds can often get preoccupied by all kinds of things, but certainly by our stories, the beliefs we have, the biases and preferences we hold, what attention focuses on, and attachments to emotions and feelings, comfort and discomfort, pleasure and pain—all kinds of things that the mind gets locked into. An alternative to that is to have an awareness that has some sense of being part of the whole, an inclusive awareness. I talked about that on the first day. Yesterday, I talked about peace, to be attuned to the peace that's larger or more encompassing than any particular focus or attachment of the mind.

Today, the alternative I would like to offer is a primary characteristic of Vipassanā¹ practice, insight practice, and that is Clarity. Vipassanā means to see clearly. The prefix 'vi' is an emphatic prefix, like really see. So we could call that clear seeing. Often we do not have clarity; we're seeing through the clouds of delusion, clouds of preoccupations, thoughts, memories, biases, preferences—all kinds of things which we see through. We also see through our belief systems and our ideas of who I am, who you are, self, and other. It's so deeply integral to our whole sense of being that we don't even see that we're seeing through those lenses. We don't understand that we see through those lenses. In insight practice, we're looking to see how to clean those lenses, maybe even take off the glasses, for those who have good sight like I don't, to see clearly.

The particular angle I'd like to use for this morning's meditation is that rather than trying to use the windshield wipers of the mind to clear away and see clearly, the task is to discover what you can see clearly and be content with that. So if there's a lot of fog, a lot of preoccupation, a lot of confusion and chaos, we would clearly see chaos, clearly see confusion. If there's a lot of anger and resentment and everything is seen through that lens, what can you see clearly? What can you have be clearly known? Maybe what you can know is that there's anger, there's resentment. That can be clearly known. If there is confusion, if nothing can be clearly seen, it just seems like there's a broad fog, broad stupor or something, maybe in a kind of way that can be known clearly. "Oh, today I cannot see clearly. It's all vague."

So no matter what is happening, what can you recognize that seems clean and clear and "oh, that's how it is." So rather than trying to see clearly, what is available? What can be seen clearly? If we're following our breath and the breath seems vague or distant, we can see clearly that that's the case. We can see clearly, "well, this is vague and distant," or we can see the mind keep slipping off. There can be a sense of slipperiness around trying to stay with the breath. So we're trying to see the breath clearly, but that might not be the point. The point is to see the slipperiness of attention, that it keeps sliding off.

So what can you see clearly? And then when you recognize what that is, spend some time appreciating this. I know this is clear, clear enough. And that clarity is always a factor of the present moment. That clarity is always about what's happening now. If you have clarity about what happened yesterday and some discussion you had with something that was difficult and now you understand the pieces of it, that's not the clarity we're looking for. We're looking for the clarity that says, "oh, this is understanding what happened. This is what happened. I'm clear that the mind now has understood yesterday's conversation." So it's always returning to the present. What can we be clear about now? And then kind of taking refuge in that clarity, appreciating it, relaxing with it, resting in it, riding in it. Stay close to it. Stay close to finding where it's clear.

If you're staying primarily with the breath, which I recommend, have clarity about how it is, not how it should be with a breath. Whatever your experience of mindfulness of breathing is now, what can you be clear about that experience, about yourself being mindful of breathing? And how does that clarity keep you in the present flow, the present moment?

Assuming a meditation posture, gently closing the eyes, and simply sitting here with the eyes closed in the simplest possible way, without analysis or figuring anything out, what comes to awareness easily with some degree of clarity? What experiences of the body are most clear, most obvious? The word "most" can be used with a very low bar—just whatever happens to be clearest, even if that clearest is not so clear by some other standard.

And what can you clearly know about your experience of breathing? If what you know about breathing is that there are thoughts and preoccupations that are pulling you away from it, what clarity of knowing, of seeing, can you have about the distracted mind?

As you continue knowing whatever you can know clearly, at some point you can maybe begin appreciating that you can know clarity. You can have a feeling, a sense of what it's like for there to be clarity in the mind about something. Not clarity of understanding abstract concepts about stuff, but clarity about the basic, simple sensations, experience, and knowing of what is. Stay close to that clarity and maybe rest with your breathing, supported by the clarity that knows something about the experience of breathing. One breath at a time. One in-breath at a time, one out-breath at a time. Just here, just now. A clarity that helps quiet the thinking mind.

When you find yourself distracted, caught in your thoughts, see if you can know clearly that that's the case. Know as clearly as possible, as easy, that thinking has overridden clarity, that clear attention to the present has been lost or has been crowded out by thinking.

And then as we come to the end of this sitting, with whatever subtleness or calm or whatever that has happened in these minutes of meditating, do you have a little bit more access to the idea of clear awareness? The awareness which is, and knowing which is, very, very simple. The simplest, clearest knowing of what is happening now that doesn't require abstract understanding, analysis, preferences, being for or against, judgments. The simplest thing to be clear about here, where the clarity of the knowing feels valuable, feels satisfying, delightful. Feels like something valuable in and of itself because for a moment or two in the knowing, there is no entanglement. It's almost as if we step back a foot or two to look at something anew, without bias, without preconceived ideas.

Just this. And imagine offering that kind of clear knowing, clear presence to a friend, a stranger, a neighbor, to others. Stepping back metaphorically a foot or two to be able to see the person as if you've never met them before, as if each time you meet them it's new. Where maybe there's a delight or appreciation, respect for the person as they appear in this moment, without carrying with you the baggage of history and memories. The person doesn't need to know you're doing this. To know someone else with whatever capacity of clarity that you have. And where that clarity is like an open window, an open door through which your kindness, goodwill, respect, care can flow. Wishing, offering the other your kindness, your friendship. Living in this world with care for all beings.

May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. May all beings be free. And may how I am present for others with my clarity, may it support others. May this practice be a support for benefiting this world.

Thank you.

Dharmette: Eight Worldy Winds (3 of 5) Praise and Blame

So hello and welcome to this third talk on the eight worldly winds.² The context I'm trying to offer these teachings in is that there is an alternative to the eight worldly winds that we can discover through doing Buddhist practice, through doing maybe many things—it doesn't have to be Buddhism—but we can discover an ability to feel a deep sense of happiness, contentment, peace, a clarity, a sense of wholeness. We can discover a kind of simplicity of being that comes from not being caught in preoccupations, caught in distractions, not being caught up in navigating the world through what's good and what's bad for me, myself, and mine. There's a wonderful softening, letting go, an absence of conceit which is possible when we're very deeply settled here.

When the mind gets involved in all kinds of things of conceit, about preoccupations with me, myself, and mine, caught up and reactive to what we're receiving from the world, the experiences we have from the world; when the mind is caught up with the sense of me, the doer, and the one who has to do things and get things and have things happen—all those things can become quiet for a while. We can take a wonderful mental vacation from the usual preoccupations of the mind, and that becomes a reference point for where well-being is found, where we get our joy and our happiness and our sense of satisfaction with being alive.

We have to have some kind of reference point like this so that when the worldly winds blow our way, we don't get pushed around by them. We don't get caught by them, we don't get reactive to them. If the worldly winds are how we define our happiness and well-being, or unhappiness and lack of well-being, then every wind that blows is going to blow us around. We're going to be reacting, fixing, putting up wind walls to stop them, and putting on heavier and heavier wind breaks, whatever it takes to try to somehow protect or hold on or to keep them going. But if we have something better than them, then they come along and we're not tricked by them. They don't have a big influence on us.

This is particularly true for the pair for today: the worldly winds of praise and blame. Many people really cherish praise. Some people depend on it; they want it, they're looking for it. Some people are organizing their life and their conversations so that people are ready to praise them. People boast, people explain what they did and how great they did and how wonderful things were. People will present political opinions with the idea that people would praise you if you have the right opinion. And for some people, that's where their vitality comes from—this joy of being someone, being recognized as someone, being praised, being honored, being somehow in the relationship to others, stands out as being special, and people look up to us.

Some of that's normal and okay enough, but there's a lot of conceit, a lot of challenges that come from living a life dependent on praise. And that is, the more praise there is, the more the pendulum can swing to being blamed. The more people praise us, the more they expect us to hold a certain standard, to be a certain way. It's a setup for the pendulum to swing. It's a setup that we can't always be praised. There are people who are going to criticize us, be angry with us, be upset with us, not share our same opinions, be critical. And so if our sense of vitality has come from praise, then it can be deflating to be blamed or be criticized. Or maybe not deflating; sometimes it's actually energizing to be blamed or criticized because then we're ready to fight, we're ready to kind of work on defending ourselves, or then we're aroused and we have to kind of be more careful and more attentive. So there's this arousal that comes with praise and blame.

The very sad thing socially is that when situations and people neither praise us nor blame us, then that can be boring, that can be not interesting for us. There's no orientation, or we're not getting anything from them, they're not activating us. And so there are times socially where the people who neither praise nor blame are overlooked or ignored because of that orientation some people can have.

So praise is not wrong to be praised. Blame isn't necessarily wrong; sometimes it's accurate that people are finding fault, finding some mistakes we've made. To have the ability to be open to both in a relaxed, open way, where the quality of our inner life is not dependent on the praise and the blame, where we're centered on ourselves in a nice, peaceful way—that we know something better than the joy of praise and the unhappiness of blame. We're not depending on it for a sense of self, for a sense of vitality, a sense of happiness and well-being, for peace. So we can watch praise and blame, we can be present for it in a clear way. We can listen for what's true, what might be accurate, and appreciate what's accurate. Appreciate praise which seems accurate enough and appreciate that people recognize it.

And appreciate when people point out our faults. The Buddha talked about anyone who points out our faults should be treated as a treasure. We're lucky to have people help us to see ourselves better. I find it a delight for someone to point out a fault that I've done, a mistake I've made, or something I've said that was wrong or maybe was even hurtful for someone. I can feel my challenge, and sometimes I get defensive, or sometimes I can feel a little hurt or dismayed, but I also feel a delight. "Oh, my chance to open to this, it's my chance to kind of feel this, to be present for it, to find a way through it to some other way." So rather than avoiding people who want to point out our faults, there's a way, within reason, of opening to it and feeling the joy of it. Sometimes that's the very thing that disarms people who want to criticize us, and it surprises them. There are people whose way of living is to be critical all the time, and maybe there's little hope then. But there are people for whom they're used to people pushing back and fighting and arguing, and that's kind of where they get their juice. But to turn towards them and open and say, "Oh, you might be right about that. Oh, there might be something there to what you're saying. Can you tell me more? Can you explain exactly how that works?" or something. Some people are surprised when someone responds undefensively because it also means that, you know, they're not getting under your skin.

This idea of knowing an alternative way of being happy, being content, being centered on oneself in a nice way, an alternative to praise and blame. So praise and blame can happen, but we're not caught by it, we're not pushed around by it, we're not influenced by it. And then there's an opportunity to be wise about it. The praise seems neutral. "Okay, thank you for the praise," and just let it go right by. And sometimes there's criticism which we just let it go right by. We don't have to pick it up or get involved. We don't have to have a belief system that every praise and blame is something that we have to react to because every praise and blame somehow defines us. We're being defined by someone else, and we've given them the power to create that definition for who we are. We've somehow forfeited our own strength, our own independence, our own capacity just to be, because somehow we're allowing ourselves to be defined by the other person. And maybe we feel that, and either we want to get attached to that or go along with it and want more of it and we try to organize our life that way, or we try to defend ourselves or criticize or counter it in some way. But in both ways, we've given some of our power, some of our independence, over to other people.

How about receiving praise and blame and not giving the other person so much power over you, over us?

So as you go through the day, the next 24 hours, you might see, are there ways—subtle ways, strong ways, big ways—that you do receive praise and blame from people you know, from strangers, from different situations? And what's your common way of reacting to that? What's your default when you're not feeling rested, when you're hungry, when you're a little bit off in your day? What is your gut reaction to praise and blame? When you're centered and rested and well-fed and feeling content, what wisdom do you have about how to respond to praise and blame? What is your relationship to this very important pair of social interactions which are common enough in the human social world? How do you relate to praise and blame?

The assignment, if you're interested, is just to discover how it is for you. And the more you understand how you react, how you respond to praise and blame, the wiser you might become around them, and what wisdom grows for you as you see it clearly.

So thank you very much, and we'll continue with these eight worldly winds tomorrow.