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Guided Meditation: Wisdom; Dharmette: Knowing & Not Knowing (4 of 5) Investigation - Ines Freedman

The following talk was given by Ines Freedman at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on November 07, 2024. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Guided Meditation: Wisdom

Good day to all of you. It is so good to be sharing the Dharma with you again, especially this week. It has been a week of challenges for so many of us.

I am going to continue with the theme of knowing and not knowing. Specifically, the topic will be investigation. Investigation is sometimes referred to as the tool of wisdom. You might consider if we are walking on a scary ledge high up on a mountain. One of the instructions I was given is, "Don't look down." Instead of thinking, "How far down is it if I fall?" I can shift my attention to where I place my next step. That is a choice we actually make out of wisdom.

We investigate what is in a moment. We make that choice in a moment. We understand our situation. We don't look down; we look this way. One way of describing wisdom is the clarity of mind that allows us to understand the situation and allows us to see which decisions we make are helpful and which are unhelpful. In relation to the practice, it means making choices that are helpful for our well-being and happiness. In relation to the ledge, it is the choices that let us survive. Investigation lets us see what choices lead towards freedom.

The wisdom of practice develops seeing our experience intimately. From seeing the details of our experience, we notice the distinctions between things. For instance, we notice a difference between being tense and relaxed, and we can make the helpful choice to relax. Or maybe we notice the difference between thinking about the breath and feeling the sensations of breathing, and we make the helpful choice to feel the breath.

For many of us processing the events in the US of the last two days, we have the choice to do so with wise reflection or with obsession. Wise reflection feels intimate and real. It feels connected. We might feel our suffering; we might feel our sadness. But if there is suffering there, we can bring compassion to it. If we are thinking about it obsessively, or about anything obsessively, we tend to feel contracted and disconnected. We feel disheartened.

If we are caught up in aversion or ill will, we can make a choice to let go of the story perpetuating the aversion. We can turn the attention to the felt sense of the body. How does this aversion or anger feel in the body? Turning to the body sensation stops feeding the aversion and allows it to dissipate in its own time.

In meditation practice, we have to see our experience closely to even see where there are choices to be made. Sometimes we make the choices very quickly, almost unconsciously, but that is okay. That is a skill. When you are playing the piano, you know whether you hit the note a little bit harder or a little bit softer. It is just practice. But we are still making those choices. Since you practiced this morning, you might give a little extra attention to the details of your experience, staying really, really close to it.

So, let's sit.

Taking a comfortable and alert posture and gently closing your eyes. Taking a little time to settle into your meditation posture, making any small adjustments that are helpful. Connecting with the body. The body that is always present, always here supporting us. Setting aside any thoughts and concerns you may have about your life or the world. You can put them to rest right now, being with our bodies.

From within the body, becoming aware of our breathing, however we experience it. Noticing the movements, the sensations of breathing. Maybe the chest and ribs are expanding and contracting. The belly rising and falling. The air moving in and out of the nose and throat. Being at ease with whatever we notice, however we feel these movements.

Taking a few long, slow, deep breaths. With each inhale, feeling the body expanding, filling the body with energy. And with each exhale, allowing the body to relax a little bit more deeply into our chairs or cushions. To soften, to open.

Allowing the breath to return to its natural rhythm. Noticing however the sensations of breathing are easiest to feel in. Allowing the attention to rest there. This can be your home base, your anchor. Staying close to the breath, noticing the changing sensations of breathing in and breathing out.

If any other bodily sensations become compelling, you might gently shift your attention to them to feel the details of those sensations. To see them closely. You might notice sensations like tingling, vibration, pressure, movement, warmth. It might be pleasant or unpleasant. Just notice them however they are. And when they are no longer compelling, returning to the moment, to the breath, to those sensations.

If any emotion becomes compelling, again, you can shift your attention to it. Bringing the attention to the physical sensations of the emotion and letting go of any story or ideas about it. Just staying with the bodily sensations. And when it is no longer compelling, just returning to the rhythm of breathing in and breathing out.

If the attention has drifted, notice it and gently bring it back to the present, to the moment-to-moment sensations. Just keep returning to the rhythm of breathing in and breathing out, or the details of any other experience that shows up.

When I ring the bell in a moment, you might take a couple of slow, deep breaths again before opening your eyes.

Dharmette: Knowing & Not Knowing (4 of 5) Investigation

I will continue with the theme of knowing and not knowing by exploring the factor of investigation¹.

When I was about six years old, I was very, very nearsighted but didn't have access to corrective glasses. I lived in a city which was totally flat, and I hadn't seen much nature. There wasn't even a tree on our street. So when my family took a train ride across the mountains, I looked at the beautiful countryside and there were these gorgeous, green, rolling hills. But I wasn't able to see the detail, so I assumed they were smooth like in a picture book. I enjoyed imagining what it would feel like to roll down those smooth mountains.

It wasn't until I was twelve and finally had glasses that I went on my first camping trip. To my great surprise, I found out that nature wasn't so smooth. There were rocks, twigs, thorns, and uneven ground. There was just no place to roll down the hill. I now saw all the details.

Investigation is a little bit like putting our glasses on and seeing clearly the details of our experience. When investigation strengthens, as we see the distinctions of our experience, instead of seeing a painful knee, for instance, we might notice all the varied sensations that come and go and change in our perception of pain. We might feel pressure, we might feel a tingling, we might feel a little pain, some sharpness, or a little piercing feeling. All these different things just come and go; they are not just one big blob of pain. This isn't meant to be an act of probing or doing, but just an intimate noticing of what is there. Engaged with the experience, not dwelling in thoughts about the pain, but the details—all the pinching, the shifting areas of intensity.

Investigation sees the details of our experiences and notices what is different between them, and that allows us to see much more clearly. Primarily in practice, investigation is used to distinguish between what is wholesome or unwholesome in our minds, what is skillful or unskillful. We might use the intellect or discursive thought to guide the mind, but as the mind settles more deeply, investigation can become non-discursive and non-verbal.

If we find ourselves struggling, lost, or confused, sometimes framing a useful question can be part of investigation. It can guide us where to look. Maybe a thought arises in the mind about something we are worried or concerned about, and we keep dwelling on the thought or related thoughts. Maybe the mind gets heavy or tight with unhappiness. Investigation looks at it more closely, and maybe we frame a question such as, "What am I clinging to here? What is it I'm clinging to?"

As we get closer to our experience, sometimes we might notice we want to fix the problem. Or maybe we are clinging to the idea that it shouldn't be there—what we often call arguing with reality. "It shouldn't be this way, it shouldn't be this way." Then we dwell on it again. So we start seeing what we are clinging to. Sometimes just by seeing the clinging, we see through it and the clinging releases. Other times, the clinging is so strong that the body has contracted with the clinging in significant ways. We might notice the added tensions in the body as we cling and allow those tensions to release themselves. Relaxing into the clinging. Relaxing the clinging. Relaxing into those feelings. Relaxing our resistance to the way things are in the moment.

As mindfulness becomes more deeply established, investigation has a chance to grow and develop. It can see much deeper into our experience and can develop the discriminating wisdom that can cut through our delusions.

There are two aspects that are particularly relevant: what we pay attention to and how we pay attention.

What we pay attention to is very important. We can pay attention to a juicy fantasy. When we meditate, it can be very helpful to consciously remember why we are meditating. Consciously remember to set aside any thoughts and concerns we have about our lives or the world to pay attention to the present moment.

But how we do that is just as important. It requires that we look at our current experience wholeheartedly and intimately, without reservations. Every breath, every sensation, every emotion that arises, every thought that goes by—do we see it clearly, wholeheartedly, intimately, without reservations? For instance, if you were investigating a dead body but you were repelled by it, it would be difficult to really see it, as your attention would be taken up by the repulsion.

I like the term "affectionate curiosity" as a guide to how to pay attention. It is an attitude that comes from caring about ourselves, about others, about this world. It isn't a cold, superficial analysis; it is warm and intimate. You want to investigate without strain, without forcing anything, just allowing things to reveal themselves as we pay attention with care. We can see quite clearly, if we are really looking, if our attitude is not wholesome. If we are paying attention just so we get more concentrated, or for some other reason than just really seeing what is here. Affectionate curiosity can be the sensitivity that recognizes the difference between a tight, willful effort and an easeful one.

We could say that suffering is just a bunch of unwholesome habits of mind. Habits are just that; they play out in similar ways again and again, kind of like biting our nails. We worry about the same type of stuff and we run it through over and over again in our minds. As we stay intimate with our direct experience, the factor of investigation strengthens, and we are able to see again and again that distinction between what is helpful and not helpful. We see clearly the difference between hating our shoulder pain and getting to know it with a kind attitude. In one way, we don't actually have to choose; it becomes obvious. Because when we see clearly, it just feels better to meet it kindly. It feels right. The more clearly we see this, the more naturally we let go of the unwholesome, unhelpful way of being. Even if we have pain in the body, our mind can be at ease. Even if there is sadness or sorrow, the mind can be at peace.

One of the teachings that has guided me is the idea that if we are struggling in any way, something is being left out of our attention. When we are struggling, we are clinging. Investigating allows us to see the process of clinging by giving the struggle a careful, open-handed attention. Seeing it, feeling it, we see what we might be adding to the experience. What's extra? An extra attention, an extra resistance, an extra idea. This wholesome attention begins to transform any experience from struggling with it to being engaged with it in a helpful way. It can lighten our grip of clinging and bring spaciousness. So if we are feeling anxious, investigation adds a wholesome quality to the anxiety. It makes it easier to experience. Instead of worrying, we are now investigating the worry.

Can we explore our suffering without pushing it away, without judging it, with a warm, careful attention?

In practice, the purpose of investigation is Awakening—letting go of clinging. It is really simple. We pay attention in the service of freedom, to free our minds from suffering, from discontent. As we see deeply into our experience, we know ourselves not intellectually, but in every fiber of our being. We know the truth that clinging always causes suffering and that letting go of it leads to freedom.

This factor is at play at all levels of practice. From when we first sit down with a wild, restless mind, investigation helps steady attention. We use it in establishing a helpful attitude, recognizing whether it is a wholesome attitude or not. We use it in noticing the many habits of mind and weeding out the unhelpful ones.

But when the Awakening factor of investigation is well established, practice can lead us to much deeper understanding and a deeper wisdom where we can see beyond our personal histories and see the reality that everything is changing all the time. None of our changing experiences will ever bring us lasting happiness. This is not an intellectual understanding, but a deep, nonverbal insight into the nature of reality. We can see that everything arising also passes away. Everything that appears, disappears—including every concept we have of who we are. Everything changes. There are no people, no situations, no things that can bring us lasting happiness. When we see this deeply, it is what allows the deepest letting go, liberation, and freedom.

I would like to end with a quote by Ajahn Chah²:

Peace within us is to be found in the same place as agitation and suffering. It is not found in a forest or on a hilltop, nor is it given by a teacher. Where you experience suffering, you can also find freedom from suffering. Trying to run away from suffering is actually to run towards it.

Thank you. May all beings everywhere be at ease, the seen and the unseen, those living close to us and those living far away throughout this world. May they be happy. May they be peaceful. And may they be free.