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Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation - Breathing - Gil Fronsdal

The following talk was given by Gil Fronsdal at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on February 01, 2024. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

I have been teaching this introductory class since the beginning of the pandemic, and I am delighted to start again. I have been teaching this course for at least 30 years as part of this community. It is one of my favorite things to do. Even though I have done it so many times, part of my joy is that I am always waiting to learn something new.

There is something significant about the beginning instructions because they represent the whole practice. In recent years, I have liked to say that there are two kinds of meditators: beginners and experienced beginners. We are all beginners in some way. Some of us have a lot more experience being beginners, but that beginner's mind makes it fresh. It represents something honest about how life always brings us something new to meet and be present for.

For those who are new, welcome to this five-week course in Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation. I have been the teacher for this community since 1990. I came to study at Stanford after being a monk for ten years, practicing in Japan in Zen monasteries and in Southeast Asia in Thailand and Burma. I started teacher training with Jack Kornfield, and I began teaching a small sitting group in Palo Alto in August 1990. Slowly, things grew until we bought this place in late 2001.

I started meditating when I was nineteen, so I have been doing this for half a century. It is something I love doing, and it has brought me a tremendous amount of benefit—healing, wisdom, freedom, compassion, and ease.

The Value of Mindfulness

From the point of view of Buddhism, life is one endless journey where every step is wonderful. Mindfulness meditation teaches us the tremendous value of the next step, the next breath, or this moment here. We find fulfillment not from conventional means—like jobs, partnerships, praise, wealth, or vacations—but from a different source. Conventional sources of happiness are often fragile; they easily disappear or are challenged.

Meditation teaches that there is a "side door" we can take. It creates a different landscape that can be healing, freeing, and bring a kind of love and peace that is not dependent on what goes on around us. This provides courage, confidence, and a sense of fulfillment without requiring the world around us to change.

There is an ancient story about a king who walked around barefoot and hurt his foot. He ordered his people to carpet the kingdom so he wouldn't hurt himself again. Someone suggested, "There is an easier way than carpeting the kingdom; just make shoes for everyone, and then you can go anywhere."

Trying to change the whole world to make it perfect for you is a lot of work. It is much more realistic to figure out how to wear "shoes" so that wherever you step, you are safe. Mindfulness is a way to find that safety. Everything you touch with your senses, everything you think, and everything that happens to you, you now have a capacity to know and be with. You are protected in a deep, inner way.

Course Overview

This course is five weeks long, and the instruction is progressive:

1. Week One: We will talk about basic ideas of meditation posture and meditation on breathing.
2. Week Two: We will build on that to do mindfulness of the body. The body is phenomenally important; so much so that it is perhaps unfortunate that the ancient Indian word Sati¹ was translated into English as "mindfulness." I would have preferred they chose "bodyfulness," because learning to be embodied is central to this journey.
3. Week Three: Mindfulness of emotions. The idea is to fold emotions into the practice, not to push them away or have shame around them.
4. Week Four: Mindfulness of thinking. For some people, there is a war between thinking and meditation. In mindfulness practice, there is no divide. We learn how to bring mindfulness to thinking in a beneficial way.
5. Week Five: We will pull all these together so they work as a whole, not only in meditation but also in daily life.

Many people find it challenging to sit quietly because they are restless. I would like to encourage you to consider that either it is impossible to fail when you do this meditation, or we simply don't bother with the orientation of "right and wrong." It is a waste of time to think about success or failure when you meditate.

The approach here is that whatever happens is fine. It is just one more thing to be mindful of—one more thing to recognize. This is a practice of recognizing what is, not what you think should be. The path in this tradition is to find happiness by learning how to be present for our experience now in a productive, useful way. You cannot fail because you just get to be where you are.

The Three-Breath Journey

We will start with something really short to give you a taste of what is possible. It does not have to be a long meditation to benefit from this practice. I call it the "Three-Breath Journey." Close your eyes and just hang out with three breaths. You can count them: one, two, three.

(Short silence)

Did anything change for you in the course of three breaths? Some find it relaxing. Some notice distractions—which is great, because noticing what is happening is our primary goal. Seeing that you don't have to be at the mercy of your thoughts is a great lesson.

If you did that once an hour throughout the day, it would probably change your day. It creates a safety net. Over time, you build up familiarity with the tricks of the mind and develop a capacity to let go.

Posture

We practice meditation by sitting quietly for an extended period. The classic idea is to sit on the floor cross-legged, but it is not necessary. In Buddhist mythology, the next Buddha—Maitreya—is often depicted sitting in a chair.

Floor Sitting: There is something nice about sitting on the floor because the stability of the tripod—your knees and bottom—creates a low center of gravity that allows the upper torso to relax. You want to be elevated enough so there is a slight curve in the lower back, which helps push the torso upright. You can also sit on your knees using a bench or cushion.

Chair Sitting: The classic instruction is to have both feet flat on the ground, parallel to each other. Your knees should be slightly lower than your hips. If your knees are above your hips, it tends to push the spine out. If you are short, put a cushion under your feet; if you are tall, put a cushion on the seat. You want to feel rooted. If possible, sit upright without using the backrest. This supports alertness.

Balance: The point is not to be super comfortable just to relax. Relaxation is a byproduct, but if it is overemphasized, you miss the benefit of developing a calm, clear awareness. We are looking for a balance between calmness and alertness.

Eyes and Hands: In our tradition, we usually meditate with eyes closed, but you can keep them open, looking 45 degrees down with a soft focus. Hands can rest on your thighs or be held together in your lap. Ensure your hands are not pulling your shoulders forward.

Guided Meditation

(The following is a transcript of the guided meditation)

Assuming a posture that for you is comfortable and helps you sit upright, gently close your eyes.

The first task is to just relax the surface tension of the day. One way to do that is to take a few deeper breaths—not too deep, but deep enough to really feel your body stretch and expand your torso. As you exhale, relax your body.

The deep inhales are a way to start making a connection to your immediate experience of your body. The exhale is a time to relax into your body.

Let your breathing return to normal, but continue the process of relaxing on the exhale. Start with the muscles of your face. As you exhale, soften the forehead and around the eyes. As you exhale, soften the jaw. Relax the shoulders. Relax the belly.

Maybe in the next few exhales, soften your whole body.

There is one more place where it is nice to relax: any tension, tightness, or pressure that you might feel connected to your thinking. Maybe behind the forehead, in the middle of the head, or in the shoulders. Wherever there might be tightness connected to the "thinking muscle," for the next three exhales, relax your thinking.

Now, notice where in your body the experience of breathing is most pronounced for you. Where is it easiest to feel the movements in the body as you breathe? For some, it is the movements of the chest. For some, the belly or diaphragm. Some enjoy feeling the movement of air going in and out of the nostrils. Some like experiencing the whole body breathing.

Whatever way you are breathing is completely fine. It is not about how you are breathing; it is about how you stay connected to it. Instead of attention going to reinforce thinking, we use our attention to reinforce being present here and now in our bodies as we breathe.

Sooner or later, you will notice your mind is distracted or pulled into a world of thoughts. You are not doing meditation wrong when that happens. It is okay. What we do then is just recognize clearly: "I'm thinking."

Recognizing you are thinking is not staying on the train of thoughts. It is stepping away and saying, "Oh, look at that," and then beginning again with your breathing.

If the thinking mind is strong, you might start all over again with the little exercises in relaxing the body and relaxing the thinking mind.

(Silence)

If you find yourself drifting off in thoughts often and strongly, you can always do the Three-Breath Journey. Just be content with three breaths, and then maybe do it again.

(Silence)

As we come near the end of this meditation, you might pause briefly from trying to be with your breath. Instead, see if you can recognize how you feel right now. How are you? See if you can let it be enough just to know it. "Oh, this is how I am," without adding judgments or commentary.

Whatever way you are, return to your breathing as if you are breathing into the middle of how you are. Allow yourself to be the way you are, but centered on your breathing.

To end the meditation, take a few long, slow, deep breaths. As you breathe in deeply, feel your body more fully. Reconnect to the feeling of your body against the cushion, the chair, or the floor.

When you are ready, you can open your eyes.

Reflections on Practice

Many years ago, I was on a retreat in the Santa Cruz mountains. I was sitting at the bank of a small creek with very clear water. I looked at it and thought, "I don't think the water is moving." I put a stick vertically into the water, and little wake waves formed on the edge of the stick. "Oh yes, the water is moving."

Sometimes in our life, we don't see what is happening to us very clearly. We are caught up in our thoughts and activities. It is useful to have a reference point from which we can see. In meditation, the breathing is that reference point.

If you sit down and try to follow a series of breaths and realize you can't because your mind is out of control, then the meditation has been successful. You have seen yourself more clearly. In this tradition, we say it is better to know your mind is out of control than not to know it.

If you are thinking about peanut butter all the time when you meditate, that is fascinating. "Look at that, I'm a peanut butter junkie." It is a way of highlighting and getting to know ourselves better.

However, if you can stay with the breathing, it is classically a calming influence. As we get calmer, we start seeing deeper layers of our reactivity—the operating principles of what makes us run. We see common emotional patterns, beliefs, and assumptions that are usually hidden because we are so busy on the surface.

Be your own best friend. Imagine a friend listening to someone who is disturbed. They just listen and accompany them without trying to fix anything. In meditation, we are being our own friend. We are just listening so that something in our nervous system can relax.

Q&A

Question: I have been meditating for a few years. Someone told me that meditating after eating is not good for concentration. Today I ate right before coming here. Is there truth to that?

Gil: In mindfulness meditation, the idea is to become your own teacher. Experiment with it. Sometimes meditate before you eat, sometimes after, and see what works for you. Some find it easier to be present on an empty stomach; others need the energy from food.

There is a long tradition of meditating first thing in the morning, before everyone else is awake. It can be very sweet, quiet, and dark. The momentum of daily concerns hasn't built up yet. But others find they are too anxious in the morning.

I used to meditate twice a day: first thing in the morning and before bed. Later, I meditated in the morning and immediately after work to clear out the day. Experiment to find your rhythm.

Question: When I first heard that you "can't fail" at meditating, I interpreted that as meaning I could just sit there and let my mind go wherever it wanted—daydreaming about Disneyland. Would you say that is not really meditating?

Gil: It is possible to sit down and not meditate. If you just sit there daydreaming, planning vacations, and buying peanut butter without any awareness, you are not meditating.

To meditate is to recognize. If you are planning a vacation and you clearly recognize, "Oh, I am planning a vacation," then you are meditating. It is like stepping out of an argument to watch it from ten feet away. You are no longer caught in it. You are seeing the big picture. In that freedom, the system begins to relax.

Question: I want to contrast mindfulness with another technique. I find just coming back to the breath boring, but eventually, I settle down.

Gil: There are two major movements in meditation: mindfulness (Vipassanā²) and concentration (Samatha). Some people begin with concentration because it is simpler—you just come back, come back, come back. Mindfulness investigates the distraction.

However, if you stay with the breath long enough—maybe 20, 30, or 40 breaths—you might get "in the groove." The human system loves to be absorbed, like in a good novel or craft. When the system unifies around the breath, it can become sweeter and more interesting than a novel. It brings a sense of well-being and joy.

Question: I find that when I try to come back to the breathing, I visualize a person doing the breathing motion. It helps me relax and count, but I don't know if that is "using my mind" too much.

Gil: If visualizing helps you be present and relax, it is useful. Use it as "training wheels," but at some point, you want to stop the visualization and just be with the breath.

You might also try Mental Noting. As you breathe in, gently say "In." As you breathe out, say "Out." Or use "Rising" and "Falling" for the belly. If you are thinking, simply note "Thinking." This keeps the mind involved without drifting away.

Question: When I concentrate on the breath, I feel like I have forgotten how to breathe. It feels unnatural and controlled, like deep yoga breathing.

Gil: This is common. In this practice, we don't try to control the breath; we let the breath breathe itself. If you find yourself controlling it, you have two options:

1. Be mindful of the control. Note "Controlling, controlling." See what it is like. Often, clearly seeing it allows it to relax.
2. Stop breathing briefly. Pause for a few seconds until you feel the natural reflex to breathe in, then allow it to happen. This can break the cycle of control.

Question: Do you have suggestions for creating a meditation habit?

Gil:

1. Be realistic. Don't commit to 45 minutes if you can't do it. Start with what you can actually do.
2. Start short. For this class, I recommend 10 minutes a day for six of the next seven days.
3. Build slowly. Next week, add five minutes.
4. Use resources. I offer a live 30-minute guided meditation and talk every weekday morning at 7:00 AM on YouTube. These are also recorded on AudioDharma. Guided meditations can be a good support, though eventually, it is good to learn to meditate in silence.

Closing Meditation

Let's end with a short meditation.

Beginning with care for your posture, gently close your eyes. Prepare by taking some long, slow, deep breaths. Relax on the exhale.

At the end of the exhale, pause for just a moment—just long enough to feel the impulse to want to breathe in. As soon as you feel that natural impulse, allow the inhale to begin. Welcome it.

At the top of the inhale, pause again just for a moment, then relax so the body exhales. Allow the inhale, release with the exhale.

As you release the exhale, release any concerns you have. Let go of your thoughts and ride the exhale all the way to the end.

(Silence)

Taking some deeper breaths to feel your body more fully, remember that you are in a room with a group of other people. When you are ready, you can open your eyes.

Thank you for being here. Keep it simple. A lot of the learning comes from doing it.