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Guided Meditation: Fresh to this Moment; Dharmette: Quarrels (4 of 5) Unbiased Attention - Gil Fronsdal

The following talk was given by Gil Fronsdal at Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA on November 02, 2023. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.

Guided Meditation: Fresh to this Moment

Welcome. One of the tasks of mindfulness meditation is to keep our attention fresh. Meaning, to always be ready to discover each moment for itself. Almost like each moment arrives and it's a new event, completely fresh. We try not to carry along with us our preconceived ideas, our biases, or the conclusions we've made about what's happening. Of course, it's easy enough, and maybe appropriate, to make conclusions or recognitions of what's happening, but then it might keep us from being fresh for the next moment.

So one way of staying fresh—like every moment is a new moment, even if it's repeating what just happened—is to have the attitude of "What else? What else is happening here? What's next?" Or the attitude, "Maybe not. Maybe it's not like this. Maybe so, maybe not. We shall see." Especially this idea of "maybe not." And then maybe you come to the same conclusion, the same recognition; that's fine. But to stay fresh, always new: "What's this?" Ready to be almost like you're ready to be surprised, or ready to discover.

In the process of doing this, it isn't so much about what you discover, what you're aware of, or what you know, as it is the openness, the freshness, the relaxed attention that doesn't settle on some idea or conclusion. The attention is always fresh. Like walking through some beautiful natural setting you've never been to before, the eyes and the mind are just ready, seeing something new, and "Wow!"

So on this sitting, to sit quietly with "Maybe it isn't so, the conclusions I've made. Maybe not. Let's see. Let's see what's next." Assume a meditation posture and lower your gaze or close your eyes. Even if you've meditated a thousand times, ten thousand times before, each moment is fresh. Each meditation is new. No two meditations are the same. What is it that's here that's new? What is it to be fresh and alert, present as if it's the first time?

Take a few long, slow, relaxed breaths. In a relaxed way, relax as you exhale.

Let your breathing return to normal, and continue in a relaxed way to relax on the exhale. Roam around your body to see where you can soften. Then, settle down to accompany your breathing. Each breath is a new appearance. Inhale, just this inhale with no past or future. Just the exhale with no past and future. Just this to be aware of, with no conclusions. Not bringing with you past bias or judgments or concerns about anything. Just this: fresh, alert, ever ready for this moment to be itself. What appears as this moment?

The "now" is inseparable from what arises in the now, the shifting, changing experiences of now. With no conclusions, not carrying with you judgments. Fresh for every moment. Breathing in and breathing out.

The direct experience of being alive is always in the present moment. To be here in your direct experience, with a center of gravity, a center of attention on the breathing. In the present moment experience of breathing with a fresh attention. This is our lived experience.

As we come to the end of the sitting, consider that one of the gifts we can give to others is to meet them without preconceived ideas, preconceptions, judgments, or bias. To have a fresh mind to meet others. And to give that gift to ourselves: to be mindful in such a way that we're aware of ourselves without preconceptions, without judgments, without thoughts that limit us. Being able to do it for ourselves strengthens our ability to do it for others, and vice versa.

As we come to the end of this sitting, may it be that we can give people the gift of being known, seen, and appreciated, free of our bias, our judgments, and preconceived ideas. To meet even people we know with a friendly "not knowing," wanting to know: "Who is this?" Knowing others with delight and appreciation, with no preconceived ideas, so they can relax, so they can just be who they are.

With whatever fresh eyes we have to see people, may we wish them well. May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. May all beings everywhere be free.

Thank you.

Dharmette: Quarrels (4 of 5) Unbiased Attention

Continuing this theme of quarrels and disputes—a topic that the Buddha had a lot to say on. He came across a situation, or a report, that there was a group of religious teachers and philosophers who were arguing philosophically or metaphysically about the nature of the universe and the nature of life. Things like: the universe is forever, the universe is finite, or infinite; that human beings live forever in multiple rebirths, or there is no rebirth; the nature of what happens after death. All kinds of things that are not really about the here and now, but about these big existential questions that people ponder.

These people who were having opinions about this were arguing and quarreling about who was right. The Buddha described them with an analogy. This analogy in some ways is pretty apt for how people can be, but it also uses an analogy that itself offers a kind of bias or stereotyping that we don't want to live in—so it's an example of what not to do. What he suggested to a king who was questioning him about this was to have a group of blind people come and, with their hands, touch different parts of an elephant and then report what they were touching¹. Those who touched the legs said it was a solid column. Those who studied the torso said it was a big round barrel. Those who touched the ears said it was a winnowing basket. Those who touched the tail said it was a rope, and so it went. Each of them then thought they knew what the elephant was, but they only had a partial view.

In the same way, these people were arguing because they only had a partial view of reality, of life, and were arguing based on that partial view. It speaks to how human beings are partial in their attention and their awareness. We come with preconceived ideas. We come with selective vision, seeing things selectively according to what we want. In this analogy, the Buddha in a sense does that too, in an unfortunate way, assuming that because people are blind they can only have a partial understanding of what is going on. That's certainly not true.

Still, the Buddha put a great emphasis on the selectivity process: the bias, the preconceived ideas, and the judgments we make, through which we see the world around us. Based on the limited views that we have, when we're seeing through ideas like this, to argue based on that is very unfortunate. That is at the root of many arguments: the selective and biased way in which we understand and see the world.

He talked about many examples of this, two in particular². For some people, it is sensual desires that make their attention partial, biased, or selective. That orients them in terms of what they want, what they don't want, what they'll argue about, and the conflicts they get into. The other big category is people who selectively choose based on their views, their opinions, and the stories they're living by. They insist that they're right, that "this is how things are," and then argue because of that.

Some of the bases for these selective or biased viewpoints involve objectifying the world—being the one who sees and creating this kind of objectified relationship that's all seen through the lens of "me, myself, and mine." It's a kind of selfishness or self-centeredness: "How does this relate to me?" For sensual desire, it's: "What is in it for me? What can I get out of this? What kind of sensual discomfort can I avoid?" For opinions, stories, and views, it's: "What supports my view? What threatens my view that I have to attack, criticize, and show how wrong it is?"

We have preconceived ideas that we bring with us into these things. We might see a friend, or a person who some time ago was a certain way, and we treat them that way forevermore. Maybe that's happened to you, where you feel like someone keeps seeing you in a very selective way. They recognize you based on something you did long ago that doesn't really represent you anymore. Or we bring the conclusions and judgments we make. One of the big ones is comparative thinking. We compare ourselves to others. We compare our views and our opinions—who has the best? Wanting to have the best view, the most thorough, true idea. We want to have the best pleasure, we want to have the best experience: "This is what the best is, this is what's not the best, and I always want to have the best."

The drive for sensual pleasure in Buddhism is actually broader than what we might think of in English. When we talk about the drive for sensual pleasure, it's the drive for comfort. It's the drive for pleasantness. It's the drive to avoid discomfort, to avoid the unpleasant. We can get into conflict with others if they stand in the way, or if they are unpleasant or do unpleasant things to us. If we think that's not what we should experience, we push them away. We don't like them, and maybe we get into conflict with them. It's all about what we think is pleasant and unpleasant. We're envious and jealous because they have the pleasure that we want, they have the wonderful experience.

Then we have the views, the opinions, and the stories that we live in. Part of the reason why they can be so sticky is that sometimes we define ourselves by them. We want to reinforce who we are by propping up those stories, insisting those views and things are true.

In all these ways, we are seeing partially. We're not seeing the full picture of things. We're oriented, we're selective. In that selectivity—not seeing the whole—we run into things that challenge that narrow view. Then we easily get in conflict, entering quarrels and disputes. "I want my pleasure, and you need to provide it," or, "It's my way or the highway, because I want to have this wonderful, pleasant, enjoyable thing." Sometimes there are intense fights over people's strong drive for, or addiction to, what Buddhism would call sensual pleasures. It's the same thing with views and opinions: people get furious, judgmental, and self-righteous.

In doing so in both these ways, we stop seeing the full picture. We stop opening up to the full experience of what's happening here now—the full humanity of ourselves, the full humanity of others. Part of the goal of this practice of ours is to be able to drop the bias. To drop the selective ways in which we see self and others. To stop the judgments we have, the comparative thinking, the ideas that "I'm not good enough," "I'm a problem," or "I'm great, I'm wonderful and I have to prove it to everyone." To relax all those things. To quiet the mind that's involved in all that chatter. It's not just chatter; it's also deep, subliminal attitudes we carry. We practice to be able to relax it so that we can go through the world without being in conflict, without quarreling, disputing, bumping into people, and self-righteously arguing, complaining, and criticizing.

Instead, we try to keep opening up to the full picture of what's really happening here. What's the fullness of yourself? What if you see yourself as whole—so whole that it can't be taken away by other people's opinions, views, or desires? What if you see other people as whole, worthy, autonomous, respect-worthy people? When they show up, we're more fresh and interested, curious: "Who is this person? What is this?" We don't have to agree. We don't have to go along with what they want. But that doesn't have to be done as an argument. It doesn't have to be a dispute. It can grant people space: "Okay, that's interesting. Tell me more."

For most people, if you ask more deeply: "What's going on for you? How do you come to this? What's the background for this view or this desire you have? What are you trying to fill, or what are you trying to do here?" As you start getting to know people better, you'll find there's depth, background, and context to who people are that changes the whole nature of how we relate to them. That's not possible if we clash around desires or clash around views.

And so, this meditation practice we do helps us to relax the judging mind. It relaxes the mind that makes comparative thinking, the mind that wants to be right and wants to hold on to views, stories, and chatter. The mind that is driven by desire, its wants, and its aversions. It is phenomenal to drop down, relax, settle, and be able to be present for the world without those—in a responsible, engaged, wise way that respects everyone involved, that has space for everyone. And maybe, in doing so, supporting everyone involved in a conflict or dispute to begin opening up and seeing each other more wholly, more fully. Finding a different way—a way that doesn't involve quarreling. Maybe a way that supports the welfare and happiness of everyone involved.

So thank you for this. We have one more talk in this series on quarrels, and I'll be doing that today. I'm going to Spirit Rock Meditation Center³, a retreat center about an hour or an hour and a half north of here, and I'm going to broadcast from there. I don't know what the conditions will be like there, and I might be doing it in an office or wherever the Wi-Fi is strongest. So letting you know, I'll be in a new location. Thank you.